Why Italian Penis is the Best

Why Italian penis is the best IMO.

italian penis

If you ask most people about their experience with Italian penis, they will probably have the same opinion as Urban Dictionary, which is to say that Italian dicks are humongous and life-changing. See the following evidence:

italian penis

My own personal experiences with Italian penis have been pretty much the same, although I will say that Americanized Italian dicks tend to be more well-kempt than actual FOB Italians. I slept with a genuine accent-having Italian man once, and nearly lost all sense of who I was, lost forever within his bushy pubes. They say that most stereotypes exist for a reason though, so let’s have an elegant discussion about why Italian penis is best.

Italian penis will never let you go hungry. It probably comes from being force fed copious amounts of pasta since childhood, but if you have an Italian penis in your life, chances are you also have a fridge full of leftover lasagna.

They (the peens) do things in their own time, much like Italian people. This extends to orgasms, from what I understand, so I hope you have some patience.

READ MORE: Photos of The Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Contest

Italian dicks are attached to very expressive hands. Its just part of the culture to communicate with lots of hand gestures, which can be a great thing if you enjoy a good fingerbang. Your clitoris will probably send you a hand-written thank you note.

Italian dicks are loud. So if you’re doing your job correctly in the sack, you will probably get some noise complaints from your neighbors. Just blame it on Italian penis and slam the door.

Italian everything = incredibly charming. The most dangerous thing about an Italian man is how good he is at getting into your pants. This goes double for an Italian penis. So basically, any time a guy tells you they are from Italy, you should be prepared to either walk away or give up the goods.

If you do end up getting naked though, Urban Dictionary pretty much guarantees you will have a good time.

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By Gary

Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can’t get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
–Instagram: @garyadrianrandall –Twitter: @gadrianrandall


  • BB Scales

    Haha yeah, someone even made a tumblr dedicated to Italians big penises

    Enjoy, I don’t think I can even handle most of those sizes lmao. Their dicks are up there with black guys. It’s too bad a lot of them are catholic, they could make a killing in the porn industry with those monsters.

    • Texannigga

      Talking about that Italianjocks tumblr? yeah some serious monsters on there anyway @ Gary I disagree about American italians being more well kempt. Italian Americans don’t even come close to having the fashion sense of real Italians. Europeans in general take care of their bodies and hair more than Americans.

  • Galas Tagarian

    One thing about italian men is they’re really confident. I’m starting to believe they wear those speedos just to show off. During my trip to Italy 3 guys were walking around with these massive bulges on the beach. They then flashed two girls who were staring. Probably the hottest thing I ever saw all 3 hung low and one had this ridiculously thick cock with a nice set of low hangers the size of eggs. Unfortunately i’ve only had one Italian so far, guy back in highschool I sucked off. Very big dick, messy shooter too and yea as you say it was really bushy too. Italian men aren’t to keen on cutting all of their pubes off. I find it sexy though.

  • Galas Tagarian

    One thing about italian men is they’re really confident. I’m starting to believe they wear those speedos just to show off. During my trip to Italy 3 guys were walking around with these massive bulges on the beach. They flashed two girls don’t speak italian that well so don’t know what the girls said to them. Probably the hottest thing I ever saw all 3 hung low and one had this ridiculously thick cock with a nice set of low hangers the size of eggs. Unfortunately i’ve only had one Italian so far, guy back in highschool. Very big dick, messy shooter too and yea as you say his cock was pretty hairy. Italian men aren’t to keen on cutting all of their pubes off. I find it sexy though.