Why Italian Penis is the Best

Why Italian penis is the best IMO.

italian penis

If you ask most people about their experience with Italian penis, they will probably have the same opinion as Urban Dictionary, which is to say that Italian dicks are humongous and life-changing. See the following evidence:

italian penis

My own personal experiences with Italian penis have been pretty much the same, although I will say that Americanized Italian dicks tend to be more well-kempt than actual FOB Italians. I slept with a genuine accent-having Italian man once, and nearly lost all sense of who I was, lost forever within his bushy pubes. They say that most stereotypes exist for a reason though, so let’s have an elegant discussion about why Italian penis is best.

Italian penis will never let you go hungry. It probably comes from being force fed copious amounts of pasta since childhood, but if you have an Italian penis in your life, chances are you also have a fridge full of leftover lasagna.

They (the peens) do things in their own time, much like Italian people. This extends to orgasms, from what I understand, so I hope you have some patience.

READ MORE: Photos of The Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Contest

Italian dicks are attached to very expressive hands. Its just part of the culture to communicate with lots of hand gestures, which can be a great thing if you enjoy a good fingerbang. Your clitoris will probably send you a hand-written thank you note.

Italian dicks are loud. So if you’re doing your job correctly in the sack, you will probably get some noise complaints from your neighbors. Just blame it on Italian penis and slam the door.

Italian everything = incredibly charming. The most dangerous thing about an Italian man is how good he is at getting into your pants. This goes double for an Italian penis. So basically, any time a guy tells you they are from Italy, you should be prepared to either walk away or give up the goods.

If you do end up getting naked though, Urban Dictionary pretty much guarantees you will have a good time.

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By Gary
Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story. --Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall