Surprising Ways to Deal With a Cheating SpouseBy Gary • Jul 16th, 2013 • Category: Advice, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life
It is a known fact that sometimes, spouses cheat. I think it has something to do with being deathly afraid that even though you said your vows, you will only be experiencing one penis or vagina for the rest of your life. It also probably has a lot to do with insecurity. Regardless of the reason, normally my advice would be to lawyer up and come up with an intricate plan for public humiliation, but the truth is that dissolving a marriage over something like cheating isn’t always the smartest choice.
Some people would rather try and work through these things than break up their family, settle up their assets, and join asinine dating sites like christianmingle.com.
Mort Fertel, an expert on the psychology of relationships has the following non-traditional advice for couples that want to work through infidelity and try and salvage a marriage:
1. Don’t spy. You may think its cute to dress all in black and go on wine and macaroon-fueled stake-outs with your girlfriends, but when you snoop, you are actually undermining your own integrity. Cheating is a breach of trust, but so is snooping. Fertel says that when adultery enters a marriage, said marriage is in need of a leader, not a follower. Take the high road, sweet tits.
2. Stick with it. Most affairs don’t last more than a year, so if you have been with your spouse for 15, you should consider waiting it out, and then working to repair your trust. It may sound torturous to wait it out, but you have probably spent more time chasing elusive orgasms, am I right?
3. Be kind. This is probably the hardest part, because your inclination will be to act as cruel to your spouse as you feel they are acting towards you. In this situation, apply the golden rule and treat your husband or wife the way you want to be treated, that way whatever justification they are using for their infidelity will fall apart in flurry of breakfasts in bed, and Eskimo kisses.
4. Get sexy. Touching your spouse is probably the last thing you want to do, but it makes sense if you think about it. Showing your husband or wife what they will be missing if they go elsewhere is a good way to remind them who they fell in love with in the first place. Withholding sex will only give them more reason to stray. If you have never tried anal before, now is probably the time. Pull out the big guns, and put your relationship back together.
This advice may seem counter-intuitive, but that’s the point. There really is no right way to deal with a situation like this, but if you are in it for the long haul with someone you might want to think twice about making any rash decisions. At the end of the day, we are all humans that make mistakes, and sometimes ending a 20-year marriage over a 20-day fling just isn’t worth it.
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Gary is Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, photographer, and web designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
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