Relationship Spotting: Some Random things about Love

We have all been in love and we all know that sometimes, (most times) it really can be a bitch. Falling in love is inexplicably one of the most life-changing things that can happen to us and if you never have, I strongly suggest you give it a try. Having put myself through the ringer a few times, I thought it would be a good thing to just mention a few of the random things I have learned from love:

1. You know you are really in love the day you come home unexpectedly and find your lover suffering miserably in the bathroom with the door open, screaming bloody murder and crying through the pain from the Indian food you ate the night before, and you nonchalantly get them a magazine. Then you leave the door open in case they need anything.

2. You can only really be in love with someone who loves you back. In all other instances you are just a stalker.

3. People aren’t things. That is why in the classifications of nouns, there are people, places, and things. These categories do not overlap, no matter how bat-shit you are. So the day you decide that you own someone is the day you slowly and painfully start to push them the Hell away until one day you find them trolling Craigslist for random hookups and decide to lock them in the cage you welded in your spare time.

4. Once you give your heart to someone, you can never fully take it back. I know this is true because I still think fondly of all the guys I have loved, even the ones (all of them) that have de-friended me, moved to a different continent, and erased all memory of me from their lives using one of those Men in Black mind-erasing dildos.

5. It isn’t possible to fall in love with everyone you date. So truly treasure the times you do fall in love, and recognize the other times for what they are: Infatuations and good sex. One day, someone remarkable will come into your life and you will have absolutely no choice but to fall in love with them. You will probably never fall out of love with them. Your job until that day, is to get yourself ready so that when it finally happens you are capable of handling it.

Otherwise you will fuck it all up and end up an old cat lady eating frosting from a can and watching re-runs of infomercials all day.

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By Gary
Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story. --Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall