I had the unpleasant experience of changing my nieces diaper recently. Rather than placate the child by assuming that she didn’t know how to use the bathroom I opted to try to potty train her instead. It went perfectly until I realized I would have to wipe her ass. I haven’t ever wiped anyone’s ass except my own (and even then I close my eyes and hum the lyrics to Hushabye Mountain).
So I can fully sympathize with the trials and tribulations of new parents. So here is a handy guide on what to expect when you aren’t expecting (a divebomber dookie that overpowers your Glade scented plug-in).