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Bryce Gruber’s Thoughts of the Day

Written by Bryce

Yup, that’s all folks

I don’t mind living in a man’s world, as long as I can be a woman in it. –Marilyn Monroe

1. Why I Like Getting My Period. Before I go off on why menstruation is awesome, I should preface with the fact that the 9 months of periodless pregnancy I experienced was super convenient. It made the constant barfing almost tolerable. It should also be known that I’m madly in love with my son, but in no position to be having more babies without rings. Anywho- let’s focus on why I truly enjoy shedding my uterine lining on a monthly basis. It’s a simple, nice reminder that I’m STILL NOT PREGNANT. One more month, one more dodged bullet.

2. No Makeup? Sure. My lovely friend Michelle over at SpaWeek Daily invited Ashley, Rie, and myself out to her fabulous spa party tonight. It was great- we ate beet cupcakes with marscarpone frosting (way more delish than you can imagine), sipped wine, and enjoyed little spa treatments. I signed up for a mini facial and was super excited to sit in the chair, have a relaxing cranial massage, skin hydration, and what felt like sinus masturbation until I realized, “wait, when I get out of this facial chair I’ll be in a room full of good looking people with glamorous dresses and I’ll be without makeup.” Oh well. It was worth it. I left with soft skin, a sinus orgasm, and a gift bag with some sexual sugar.


3. What is Sexual Sugar? Glad you asked, pookiebear! It’s a perfume that comes completely enrobed in a pink glitter box that immediately made me think “Paris Hilton on opiates” but as it turns out it smells pretty delish. Yeah, I’m going to wear sexual sugar. Aaaaaand the more I think about it, the less surprised I am at myself.

4. Why Can’t They Master the Gene Mutation… for weight gain to go straight to boobs? I don’t see why scientists are working on mutating frog genes for the sake of stupid stuff like enhanced jumping. Honestly, I’d only be jumping a lot if I had big boobs and the world wanted to see them bounce. (on that note, I totally miss lactating)

About the author

Bryce

Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber

3 Comments

  • Please tell us a bit more about the smell of Sexual Sugar and have you received any compliments on it?
    Also, I saw you on television and you looked amazing. You can tell that you have naturally amazing skin and you were simply luminous! So, I am sure that you still look amazing without make-up!
    It’s funny that you love getting your monthly because it means you’re not preggers. I feel the same way!! There’s something very reassuring about that even when I have no real reason to worry.

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