In today’s important philosophical questions, we ask the internet: would you spend $450 to get some of that, um, Kylie Jenner style?
No seriously, we’re asking this question in a very real way, because as it turns out the Kendall and Kylie Jenner sister-sister duo started out by selling cheap frocks just above the Forever21 price point line for teenagers looking to grow into bushy eyebrows and internet fame. But what would these same teenagers, or even you, say if the line evolved into a $450-per-piece type situation just so fashion hopefuls could nab even the tiniest bit of that, errr, ‘coveted’ Kylie Jenner style?
“This is absolutely ridiculous. There’s no reason on Planet Earth for a Jenner child to be selling $450 anything unless it’s a deal for Restylane,” shared Jamie S., a top celebrity stylist living and working in NYC (who declined to share her last name, and that was okay by us because her sentiments were enough. “They need to stay in their lane and do Sears kollections and drugstore beauty because that’s where Americans want them. The young girls that actually respect them for some reason that’s beyond my understanding don’t have big bucks to spend, and if they do, I really hope they end up spending it on college tuition or debt management instead of some crap Kardashian purse.”
The Kendall + Kylie collection (kollection?) now features dresses in the $300 range, and even a purse for $450. Let’s address what you KOULD have for for those prices instead, because if Hermes teaches us anything, it’s that fashion has the potential to be an investment, or at least not a rapidly plummeting asset, and rocking Kylie Jenner style all around town is hardly on par with a Goldman Sachs strategy. Just to be clear and shush the naysayers, the $450 tote bag the Jenners are pushing is not lined with some magical silk or made by a design team worthy of that pricing — it’s the same mass produced garbage you’d find on a sale rack at TJ Maxx, except TJ Maxx has the decency to offer it to us under $100 (bless their hearts).
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Word on the fashion street is that the Jenner duo actually infringed on the design rights on major designers including Botkier and Fendi by copying their work for their new 18 piece kollection. Because if you’re a Jenner or a Kardashian, the world is your polyester oyster and you can do whatever you want. Lest we remember how corn rows didn’t even turn to Korn rows for the Kardashian Klan? They became ‘boxer braids’ because that’s just how you roll over in that house.
If you buy any of their pieces that’s up to you, obviously, but I feel it’s my duty to present you with a variety of better options that might actually leave you in a place of decent financial standing. These are the types of pieces you’d be able to consign, trade with friends down the road, sell on eBay, or just about anywhere else. Simply put, you wouldn’t be throwing your $450 away, and there’s something to be said about women with intelligence. #feminism
You’re better off buying a gently used Fendi, a real one, without any of the knockoff Jenner charms.
Or a Mansur Gavriel leather tote, the official tote of women with good taste and expensive umbrellas. This one retails for just over $500, but we found it for under $300 (gently used).
Or a Loeffler Randall drawstring hobo bag in supple leather, which at the same price as a Kylie + Jenner bag, is an actual investment you’ll be able to enjoy for at least a few seasons. The lack of shame while wearing it is essentially priceless, too.
Peace, love, and wise decisions for all Americans.