I remember my first public curse word. It was the word damn, I was in the 7th grade, and I remember feeling like a real bad-ass after saying it. Growing up in my house, my mom basically told us that there was “no fucking Santa Claus” as we popped out of her vagina, so curse words were never very taboo. At school however, I was a perfect angel, which is the opposite of what normally happens, since my siblings at home were the bad influences.
If you have kids though, the day is going to come when they say their first curse words, so here are a few different tactics to consider when dealing with it:
Discipline them. I am not saying you should beat the crap out of them with a belt or a sandal, because that went out of style in the early 2000s, and nowadays I am pretty sure that children can emancipate themselves if their parents so much as lift a finger. What I will say though, is that things go a lot more smoothly when kids are just a little afraid of their parents. Take that for what it’s worth.
Teach by example and edit your own vocabulary. Chances are your little bastard kid heard the swear words from you. Sometimes things get a little heated, and it can be hard to hold yourself back, even when your kids are within earshot. If you want to play the fairness game, explain to your child that cursing isn’t okay for anyone to do, and then substitute your curse words for less harsh alternatives.
Explain the meaning behind curse words. As we all know, there is a huge difference between a gay guy referring to his fat best friend as “bitch”, and Chris Brown yelling “get back here bitch” as Rihanna runs away from his Ferrari. Explaining what curse words mean to different people will help your child determine if it’s ever okay to use them.
These days, kids are completely over-exposed whether via pop culture, social media, social networking, or those bitchy pre-teen girls at school that wear Victoria’s secret training bras and give hand-jobs in the 7th grade. You can’t really control when your kid is exposed to colorful language, but you do have complete control over the way they comprehend it.
So be a good parent and teach your children when it is, and isn’t appropriate to drop an F bomb.[ via ]
My sweet, innocent daughter came home from her first day of first grade and said:
“Mama, Sam wrote A-S-S on his chair. And Jane said the S word. [Pause, pensive look…] Then again, Charlie says F###ing A###ole all the time, so it makes A-S-S and S### seem not really that bad.”
I was facing away from her, and my face, contorted and panicked as she spoke, was calmer by the time I turned around and said “Well, that’s a good lesson in perspective, isn’t it, honey?” And then I went around the corner and laugh-cried. She’s a fourth grader now, surrounded with curse words, and has no interest in them. Just hilarious.