Gimmie Some Mo’ Ocho Cinco

Written by Marisa

this is how you get ready for a game

Child, please! I can’t help it. I want to “kiss da baby, shut the front door,” I mean, “c’mon son!”

There’s no other NFL player that gets me so damn excited like Ocho Cinco does. If you’re not a fan, it will only take me a few minutes to get you hooked and following the former Chad Johnson who changed his named to match his number.

It all started late summer when I started watching “Hard Knocks” on HBO. This year they followed the Cincinnati Bengals (or “The Ocho Cinco Show”). From the beginning I could not get enough of the “Ocho Cinco” moments. Oh…and there were many amazing moments. Like when he coined the phrase “child please” and explained that “it’s a nice way to say ‘f*ck you.’’ Or when he went to Claire’s for some accessories. I love how he just doesn’t give a f*ck, rolls up into Claire’s and scoops up some CZ’s for his ears. What did we learn today kids? That “just ‘cause you got money doesn’t mean you gotta go spend it.” Showing the price to the camera Chad says, “I get the same effect with these right there man.” Right after that he shows off his black AMEX. How can you not love that?

ochocinco twitter

Not too long after I fell in love with #85 on “Hard Knocks,” I started following him on Twitter. There are so many blah blahs on Twitter, but c’mon son! Ocho Cinco does not disappoint! There’s never a dull moment and I don’t know anyone else who tweets as much as him (oh yeah, John Mayer…but his were like verbal ‘rhea every 20 seconds. I had to unfollow that shit). If you follow him, “you’re getting a show.” Last night he told his followers that he was heading to J. Alexanders in Cincy and dinner was on him if they wanted to meet up. Here’s how it went down:

OGOchoCinco Anybody in Cincy want to join me for dinner, headed to J Alexanders in Hyde park, dinner on me

OGOchoCinco Leave the house now, oh and for the crazy folks I have an off duty officer with me, see yall in the bar area in 10 minutes

If I was in Cincy, I would have been there. This is how you treat fans. And last Friday he entertained me. While I was bored at work, Ocho Cinco was sneaking into movies:

OGOchoCinco Pay for one movie then hide in the bathrooms till each movie starts, works for me, try it sometimes people, save money for mcdonalds

OGOchoCinco I’m a Professional movie hopper,I set records for most movies watched in a day back in 1992, also bring your own food and drinks (bookbag)

Other random deets about the O-C that get me all oooo weeee:

His latest product endorsement: “Ocho Cinco condoms” cumming soon. He guarantees they’ll “catch everything a Johnson shoots.” (Said on “Hard Knocks” and Twitter)

Him and Lil’ Wayne are producing a “Child Please” song for reals

Check out the all-pink gear he’s wearing all of October in support of Breast Cancer Awareness Month


He is amazing. Honestly what more can I say? I gotta go. It’s time to kiss da baby you hos!

About the author


Marisa knows random like Britney knows crazy. She's *the* go-to person for random Chicago info with the trophy to prove it. If you’re itchin’ for BYOB Chinese with transvestite servers followed by live-band karaoke, BBM Marisa. By day, she's slangin' ads--writing about Mac 'n Cheese, Jell-O, A.1. and all things momtastic. By night, she practices her crow pose, rocks dunks, cooks like Giada, spins indie rock and gangsta rap and explores the city. She's been known to enjoy carbs or things covered in truffle oil and black cherry vodka covered in flashing lights and boombastic beats.

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