FASHION Shoes and Accessories

Fuck Off Sandals Give Everyone Your Most Important Message

Written by Bryce

Fuck off. It’s what you want to say to everyone, right? There’s a quicker way to get the message across.

If you’re part of the human race there’s a 99.5% chance that you’ve wanted to say ‘fuck off’ to at least one person today. The problem is, actually uttering those words makes you either super witty or terribly uncouth, and the line is just so fine that I can’t recommend trying to walk it. You can, however, walk that line in a pair of Fuck Off sandals, and here are a few of the main reasons I believe this is a good plan:

1. Everyone needs sandals. If you wear them to the pool, this is your message to the asshole who moved your lounge chair. If you wear them to the gym shower, this is an important message to the guy who just peed there before you.

2. Get your groceries in style. How many times have you thrown sweats and sandals on to quickly run out for milk? A million, if not more. This helps communicate that you only want more cereal, and absolutely no conversation. Nothing helps productivity like eliminating small talk.

3. Wear them to your next pedicure. Did you just cut my fucking cuticles so deep that I’m bleeding out? Let my shoes do the talking.

Feel free to add your own reasons, but, I think these reasons suffice.

They’re sold by a Canadian company, so take that for whatever it’s worth. Available here.

About the author

Bryce

Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber

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