I will confess upfront I have not tried any of the samples I was given â€“ not the DietStart Cleanse and not the Fiber35 Diet FitSmart Shake in Chocolate CrÃ¨me and Old-Fashioned Vanilla — and I probably never will. Supplements frighten me. I know the FDA isnâ€™t perfectâ€¦but *some* sort of regulatory oversight from our friends in Washington usually makes me feel better. Otherwise how do you know youâ€™re not getting the next Ephedra or Fen-phen? (My mother also warned me to be carefulâ€¦and she can be surprisingly insightful sometimes. She, for example, knew precisely what was going on when Tiger Woods crashed his Escalade last Novemberâ€¦)
But, despite my concerns, I carefully read the press materials from Digestive Care Expert Brenda Watson and tried to keep an open mindâ€¦and Iâ€™ll regurgitate (no pun intended…[or was it??]) the factoids so you can make an informed decision should *you* be interested in cleansing with any of these products. (That’s one of the things that makes America great, right? Land of Free! Home of the Brave!)
Disclaimer: I have to use this rhyme because she used it so much…:
Here’s the scoop: Brenda Watson likes to say, “Poop.” A lot.
Who is Brenda Watson? She’s a health advocate/colon therapist/poop analyzer who says her passion lies in the digestive tract. Sheâ€™s the founder of five natural healthcare clinics in Florida and has written six books â€“ including 2002â€™s Renew Your Life, which is focused on â€œthe bodyâ€™s natural detoxification processes, as well as improving digestion through healthy nutrition.â€ (Or so say her press materialsâ€¦). She also has a live call-in radio show â€“ Brendaâ€™s Poop Scoop — that can be heard Wednesdays from 4:00 to 5:00 EST in Brenda Watsonâ€™s Content Library on The VoiceAmerica Health & Wellness channel.
Watson cites a National Institute of Health figure — 100 million Americans — to show just how many people suffer from digestive disorders. She also says her understanding of the digestive system and â€œhow it can be brought back to optimum performanceâ€ can help alleviate many of these health issues.
Interested in learning more? She has quite a few gems in the Poop Chronicles on her Web site. Iâ€™ll leave you to discover most of them for yourself. Althoughâ€¦if I was a DJ and Brenda’s poopisms were my tracks, I think I’d mash them up a little something like this…:
â€œJust the gentle â€˜ooshâ€™ like a kayak being pushed off the shore of a pristine lake into the water.â€ / â€œOnce the poop has reached the left side of the colon it should be solid, just like when you bake a cake â€“ mixture goes in runny, comes out soft and solid. If you donâ€™t bake, youâ€™re on your own â€“ just use your imagination! Now your poop is ready to come out of the oven.â€ / â€œFiber is the Jack LaLanne of poop.â€ / â€œFiber is the ThighMaster of the colon.â€ / â€œSo most of the time my poop complements my hair color. This need to color-coordinate certainly make me strive for healthy poop everyday.â€
(Just call me Lace Master Flash? […some old coworkers actually did…]).
Soâ€¦sorry, Brenda. You have a clever logo (â€¦given what you doâ€¦) and youâ€™ve certainly embraced your niche. And I wish you well in the dietary supplement world.
And thereâ€™s a good chance itâ€™s purely fond memories of Beverly Hills Chihuahua and/or A Fish Called Wanda, but I think Iâ€™m still more likely to try Activia for probiotics and/or maintaining digestive healthâ€¦(although, then again, I just Googled â€œActiviaâ€ and discovered a link to a class action lawsuit that claimed Dannonâ€™s advertising for Activia and its benefits was not true. Which kind of brings us back to square one as far as I’m concernedâ€¦).