Bryce Gruber’s Thoughts of the Day (intimacy edition)

Do you have sex on your period?

1) Is Period Sex Normal? After a discussion with some close friends this weekend, I learned that sexing whilst bleeding isn’t all that uncommon. I’m not terribly experienced in this department (or most other sexual departments) because I haven’t had much in the way of true intimacy, but I do often wonder if this is commonplace in healthy relationships… or is the traditional Jewish approach of no-sex-on-the-rag the better way to go? Does anyone have any statistics or thoughts on this?

2) What comes first- sex or love? I was raised with the belief system that sex should only be shared with someone that you truly love on a variety of levels, but I’m starting to think that love actually evolves from a series of intimate hurdles in our modern times.  We seldom hear of successful love stories (girl meets boy, boy buys ring, couple buys house, the end) where a couple meets, dates, and holds off on sex till their wedding night and then lives happily ever after. More often than not we hear of Sally meeting Tim, Tim taking Sally for a few good meals (and drinks), and Sally giving Tim the ride of his life.  After several successful rodeos Tim announces that he loves Sally, Sally gets excited, and 6 months to 2 years later Sally is wearing something Tim picked out at a mall store like Zales.  Which is right? Does love develop post-intimacy? Or does intimacy develop after love already exists?

3) Liam And Me is My Fave Band. Check it out.

About the author


Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber


  • I think it’s 100% acceptable and I agree with Viv. But if the guy seems freaked out/immature/inexperienced, I’m not there to convert him. Everyone has their rules, too. Some will only do it in the shower, some will prep beforehand… I only do if it’s the beginning or end. Bryce, just try a few variations to see what you’re comfortable with 😛 There are many options. I don’t think your period is any reason to abstain from sex, though.

  • its disgusting. i think couples last longer when tehy hold off during this time… it allows you to take a break and realize that the relationship is about more than banging, unless that is the only thing it is about.

  • That doesn’t make sense. You’re just grossed out by it. 3-4 days of not having sex does not make a couple respect their relationship more, especially if the reason they’re not sleeping together is because the chick has her period. The couple that’ll last longer is the one that has sex when they both want to; period nonwithstanding.

  • I think both perspectives are valid and interesting… and I think it might break down to cultural values. I think through media, word of mouth, etc it’s expected that we all want to have sex like rabbits… 3-4 times a day every single day. While I think that’s incredible (and am guilty of loving the idea), I think the truth is that isn’t necessarily sustainable for 5 years, 10 years, or beyond. Sure, there are exceptions to every rule, but I think what Samir is trying to say is that sustaining a seriously long term relationship might require a natural cycle (pun intended) of active sex and then restriction (like to better appreciate a piece of cake, for example).

    …all that being said, if you’re already only seeing your partner a couple times a week because you don’t live together, you should probably take advantage of your togetherness as much as possible. or if you don’t see it going on for an incredibly long time anyway (in which case I have a whole other set of thoughts about being super intimate with people you don’t care to know in the long term).

  • Steph, sorry I didn’t proofread it so it may not have made sense.

    Think of the things in your life that you have wanted really badly, but had to be restricted to it. Didn’t you end up wanting it more? That is the same thing you have to think about with sex. If you do it all the time, you (naturally) lose the lust for it, unless you are a nympho and you will probably never be married. Taking a break every once in a while keeps the wanting there.

  • zac… i’m not trying to say, but i feel like i would’ve made up an alias to post that comment under. something like “Damien Oregano” or “Schnoz Sultan”

  • Samir, I see what you’re saying– although I am in the camp Bryce mentioned and have downtime due to separate living quarters. I certainly understand wanting something more because you can’t have it whenever you feel like it. Apologies for sounding like a bitch! I definitely think it’s important to spend time together that doesn’t involve sex, but I don’t let my . decide when that is or isn’t.

  • I think sex on my girls period is fine. In fact I consider it a little kinky in some odd way. It feels different(in a good way) and I don’t see anything wrong with it besides a possible messy crimescene of a bed. The problem I have is SHE doesn’t like it, so it’s generally avoided unless near the beginning or end.

    I don’t agree with the whole no sex week. At. All. Why would you wanna do something like that? Crazy talk I tells ya. And even if she doesn’t like it, did we forget about oral?

  • oh and answer to part two. I think intamacy allllllllways comes first. That’s a make or break in a relationship. Love develops over time. You have to test drive the car before you buy it because if you buy it first and the ride sucks… You’re gunna start looking for another car.

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