Brooklyn + Firepit = Penis Pokey

Written by Bryce

The other night my friend Mike stopped in to hang out, have a drink, and watch some TV.  He’s here a lot and we’ve been friends for a damn long time.  I thought I knew everything there was to know about Mike, and I’m usually good at predicting all his moves.  I definitely don’t know him as well as I thought I did, because when he started to tell me about his Friday night adventures in the magical land of Penis Pokey, I nearly collapsed.  Mike is a good looking late-20’s guy who has always been a bit of a ladies man.  To the best of my knowledge he’s straight.


The story started with him and his girlfriend hanging out at some dive bar in Brooklyn on a seemingly normal Friday night.  After a few drinks, Mike and his girlfriend (we’ll call her “Jessica”) met a lovely gay couple and started talking.  They talked for quite some time, and before you know it, Miguel and Anthony were insisting that Mike and Jessica come back to party more at their oh-so-fabulous Greenpoint home complete with firepit in the backyard.  Mike and Jessica thought it sounded like good harmless fun, but before you know it, Miguel and Anthony whipped out their favorite party book: Penis Pokey.  Miguel got the party started by inserting his handsome schlong into the hole in the center of the book, and proceeded to dance around the fire enacting the several different scenes depicted on each page.


He hopped, skipped, shimmied, and danced through each page all by the light of the fire at 4:30AM.  Anthony, Mike, and Jessica clapped through each page.  Then it was Anthony’s turn.  He, too, emphatically acted out each Penis Pokey scene.  Then it was Mike’s turn.  The one straight dude.  Mike claims he kept insisting “no, no, I really can’t,” but within a matter of minutes his cock was slipped through the little hole in the book and he was dancing around the fire.  All while the gay couple and Jessica clapped and cheered.

This is where the story gets a little shady: Mike claims that the party ended abruptly when he took his schlong out of the book, zipped up, and left.  That seems unlikely to me.  I mean, if you have a bunch of drunken 20-somethings dancing around a firepit in Brooklyn with their genitals exposed, it seems unlikely that suddenly the party would just end.  My theory?  A big gay gangbang with Jessica in the middle.  But who knows for sure.

About the author


Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber


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