3 Reasons I Can’t Stand Douchey Club Promoters

Written by Elizabeth Mitchell

Get a real job, douche!

Living in LA, I definitely get my fair share of mass texts from douchey club promoters trying to get me to attend free dinners and then pop bottles at the hottest new venues in town. Sounds great, right? Wrong. Maybe if you’re 17, don’t have a fake ID and that’s your only option, then sure. Otherwise, I’d rather shoot myself in the face, and here’s why:

1. You’re Not Cool. Actually, You’re A Loser.

News flash, your job is to round up a shit ton of girls and get drunk all night. Your parents are probably super pissed they even paid for your education at all. Way to go, loser.

2. You Try To Personalize Mass Texts.

Do you think I’m stupid or something? Just because you insert my name into the most generic and douchey text possible, it doesn’t mean I’m going to think you personalized that shit. Give me a break, and for the record, how do I unsubscribe!?!?

3. You Always Have The Dumbest Facebook Pics.

Oh really, you think you’re sooooo cool because you’re posing in a pic with 17 slutty blondes who have their boobs hanging out and are drunk as shit? Well, guess what? They’re only using you for your alcohol. Been there, done that.

image via quickmeme.com

About the author

Elizabeth Mitchell

Born and raised in NC, Liz attended college at NYU before making the move to the City of Angels where she currently resides. She has an uncanny love for all things neon, prefers regular to diet and secretly wishes she were a hipster because it’d be ironic. Follow her on twitter at your own risk: @emitchell456

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