Gay cholo boys are the hottest new trend in homos.
Just like the rainbow that represents us, gay guys come in all colors, shapes, and sizes. Gay cholo boys are a very small subsection of gay culture, but all you have to do is Google it (or watch some gay prison porn) to know that they do, in fact, exist.
A “cholo” is described as a Latin American with Indian blood, a lower-class Mexican in an urban area, or a teenage boy in a Mexican-American community who is a member of a street gang. Another sub-sect, “Cholombians,” exist as well. While those definitions seem decidedly racist, they come directly from Google, so I can’t really be held accountable. Also, f google, right?
A gay cholo is a Hispanic, tatted up, bandana-wearing, wife-beater sporting gay guy, who is most likely on the DL with a family somewhere in Southern California. Long story short, they’re hot and I’m into them.
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As a general rule, cholo boys don’t make great boyfriends, but I know there must be exceptions to the rule. If you’re talking about casual dating though, here are a few benefits to choosing a gay cholo boy:
Gay cholos are passionate. I’ve found that most guys of Hispanic descent are passionate, but cholo boys are especially passionate, especially if they have been to prison. This can be a really bad thing sometimes, but it can also be a good thing if you want to be constantly reminded that somebody loves you, and that if they can’t have you, nobody else can either.
Gay cholo boys are excellent at pissing your family off. If you want to bring home someone your parents won’t approve of, you could do much worse than a Hispanic man covered in tattoos. Give him bonus points if he puts a blunt out on your family beach portrait from last Easter.
These boys are great lovers. I say this because most Hispanic men I know are great lovers, and it isn’t just because their dicks are works of art.
Gay cholo boys are great at grooming. This is especially helpful if you need a last minute touch up to your beard, or the chin strap that runs under your balls.
Gay cholo boys are uncut. I don’t know about you, but this is a huge plus in my book. If that grosses you out, dating a cholo boy is exactly what you need to get over your fear of foreskin.
Gay cholo boys aren’t afraid of commitment, but only when it comes to tattoos.
Cholos have lots of bandanas and plaid shirts. If you have to go undercover as a lesbian at a BBQ, your gay cholo will have you covered.
Gay cholo boys have lots of khaki shorts. So if you have to go undercover as a lesbian at a golf course, you are also covered.
They will protect you in a fight. Loyalty is important to cholos of all genders, so if shit gets real at a McDonalds at 2 AM your back is covered.
Gay cholo boys are proud of their culture. While this may not be mainstream, in this day and age it’s a good thing to hold onto culture, so let your gay cholo boy be whoever he is and love him for it, just don’t be surprised if his baby mama calls at midnight to make sure he’s going to be there for his daughters quinceanera in the morning.
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