Dating SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS Sex Life

Why I’m Done Dating…

Written by Bryce

Recently I decided that I’m done dating.  Since my son was born in early January, it took me a while to jump back on the dating bandwagon.  1) Because I have basically no free time between running two businesses and caring for an infant, and 2) Because I’m too fertile for my own good, and I need to keep that under control.

Seeing as my checklist for suitable suitors basically only includes the following list, I’ve pulled myself off the market till I sort my shit out:

  • Born before 1977 (I like ’em ripe)
  • Jewish (I already had a kid without being married, I can’t let my family down any more. I maxed out.)
  • Type A go-f-yourself business dude personality
  • General disregard for other humans

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When I’m ready to go back on the market, I think there’s a good chance I’ll be dating one of the guys in this video.  Since it was filmed in the 80’s, I’m pretty sure they’re all old enough to meet my standards.  And yes, there’s a chance I’ll even marry one and expose him to my hyperfertility.  I think “Big Phil” might just be my soulmate.

About the author

Bryce

Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber

6 Comments

  • i’m in the same boat as you. have a 2 yr old. things with the ex were done practically the moment i gave birth but it took me a yr before i felt ok to start getting back out there. in the past yr i’ve dated on and off but no one really worth having a relationship with. currently juggling a few guys but tempted to cut everyone off for a while until i figure out what i am really looking for.

  • Bryce take it from someone who raised a daughter by himself for 13 years and ran 2 businesses .. never go totally of the market ..find time for love … .its not healthy , nobody said it was going to be easy…keep your head in the sky and your feet on the ground …i rely liked the viking guy.. he was so honest… lol

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