They really should start calling Promises Treatment Center “Washed-Up Actress Center For Actresses Who Can’t Act Good…And Do Other Things Good Too.”
Tara Reid, in a move as predictable as a 2009 Madonna/A-Rod lovechild, checked herself (read: was forced by her publicist to check into) Promises this past weekend for an undisclosed addiction. I see her hosting such events as “Bikini Beach 2008” in Chicago and “The Hookers Ball 2007” (sponsored by a porn company) in Australia hasn’t been paying off. When you’re hosting a “ball” whose name is that of a profession in which you sell your body to make money, isn’t the joke on you? And, aren’t other things going to end up on you too?
In her defense, she DID come out with a clothing line this year called Mantra. It’s just so beautiful and…classy, if you will. This is what she had to say about the line: “It’s about putting into the universe what you want in life: Red means love, pink is friendship, green is lucky, black is protection.” And brown is the vomit you find in your hair every morning when you wake up, Tara. Each and every aspect of this clothing line screams, “I was designed on drugs.” And, by God, I’d have to be on something to volunarily wear any of it as well. Someone has to dress the hookers in our world; we can’t have them walking around with all their parts showing, can we. Oh, wait…
One of Mantra’s classier looks, as modeled by Tara
We should have seen this coming. After all, she did play Vicky “I’m the nervous virgin” Lathum in American Pie and Gwen “I’m not taking off my clothes” Pearson in Van Wilder. It’s always the ones you least expect. However, I suspect this is not the last we’re seeing of Ms. Reid - look for her hosting The Hooker’s Ball 2009 at a classy establishment near you!
