Three Ways to Cro-shame Your Baby on Etsy

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Cro-shame= crochet + shame. See what I did there?

I’m pretty sure the reason God made me gay is so I could never have a baby, since the closest thing I have ever had to a child was a dog, and I sold her for $500 so I could go on a vacation.

crochet baby clothes

Nothing is more comforting than a man-eating sea monster with two rows of teeth eating your tootsies.

Still, if I ever did have one it would be the most inappropriate baby known to mankind. I would use it as a tool to make people laugh, especially when they didn’t want to laugh. I would dress it in the most ridiculous outfits I could find, and yes, I would cro-shame it. Thanks to Etsy, I would have no problem finding ridiculous crochet apparel for my baby, so while I may not have a pair of tits, I can still make sure my child’s head looks like one.

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By Gary
Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story. --Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall