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The 90 Bitches You Meet In 3rd Grade

Written by Steph

Every once in awhile, the internet redeems itself for sites like ChatRoulette and Two Girls One Cup by giving us comedy gold. This is one of those times.

Every once in awhile, the internet redeems itself for sites like ChatRoulette and Two Girls One Cup by giving us comedy gold. This is one of those times.

This list was found by a teacher on the floor of her 3rd grade classroom in Washington DC. The author does bitches like lolcats does the Impact font– better than anyone else, ever.

BitchesScan-1

BitchesScan-2

BitchesScan-3

BitchesScan-4

BitchesScan-5

[Read the typed version here]

And people say our schools are in trouble? This is some sophisticated shit. I’m pretty sure I was looming potholders in 3rd grade, not drafting the next great internet meme.

If you were paying attention, you may have noticed page four is missing. What 16 bitches are not included in this list? Here are some ideas.

  1. acrylic nail bitches
  2. don’t know they roll bitches
  3. drank too much and can’t remember where they live bitches
  4. tramp stamp bitches
  5. muffin top bitches
  6. give a penny TAKE A PENNY bitches
  7. Claire’s Accessories bitches
  8. iPhone bitches
  9. cankle havin bitches
  10. dial up modem havin bitches
  11. lactose intolerant bitches
  12. pigeon toed bitches
  13. different color braces havin bitches
  14. welfare cheese bitches
  15. sideburns havin bitches
  16. thong stickin out bitches

What types of bitches would you like to see on this list?

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About the author

Steph

a born-and-bred Brooklyn brunette prone to excessive alliteration. Follow her on Twitter @omgstephlol. Read more here.

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