What happens when two people who blog about sex/dating/relationships meet on that holy of holies, OK Cupid?

Well, I’m not quite sure yet.

Neither of us knew that the other blogged, but she wrote to compliment one of my favorite movies, the Devil’s Backbone by Guillermo del Toro. She said I seemed benign (her mistake), which apparently made me a good candidate for a first internet dating experience. She warned me in advance that she was not interested in a boyfriend, which was just fine by me considering my own recent break-up; a few messages later, we agreed on a time and place for our not-a-date.

This was a particular leap of faith for me, as she had no clear images of her face on her profile (because, to be perfectly honest, if you’ve got the right cheekbones, everything else is negotiable). And people without photos of their faces annoy me (because it sucks to show up for a date, see that they have the wrong cheekbones, and then spend the rest of the hour or so gritting my teeth). But the composition and lighting on one of her two photos was so evocative that I decided to take the leap anyway.

To my chagrin, she took this whole not-a-date thing a little more seriously than I…. She sauntered in twenty minutes late, hot and sweaty from a day’s work and the ensuing subway ride, wearing a tank-top, cut-offs and no makeup. Which is not to say she wasn’t smokin’ hot (and with the cheekbones to boot), but rather that I suddenly felt a tad overdressed.

Her first Internet date and/or not-a-date? Don’t worry… I’ve been at this seven years… you’re doing fine. You write for a very well know publication? About relationships, no less? Goodness me. Recently had your heart broken? Sounds like we’re on the same page.

Now, unlike me, she is eminently googleable. If I had wanted to, I could have read most of her grad school publications, not to mention the more recent pieces for her employer. It took a supreme effort of will to spend the next day immersing myself in her words. Besides being more than a little creepy, doing so would take the fun out of the first few dates. Because isn’t that much of what they’re about? Almost like a striptease, you take off one piece of emotional armor at a time, in the hopes that when you have stripped bare, you don’t find yourself skewerd on the other person’s lance. Seeing someone emotionally denuded tends to be a little freaky… but if you learn these things in context, something previously unfathomable to you may suddenly become reasonable.

The other thing I’ve leaned from nascent relationships past is not to instantly ‘friend’ her on every freaking social-networking site that I’m on. (One lovely comedienne politely chided me about that a few years back.)

As for not-a-date #2? Not officially established yet, as I’m in Texas at the moment busy learning how to be a cowboy, but it seems like things are on for after my return next week.

Thus, lessons worth imparting to the young:

1. If she says it’s not a date, it’s not. Unless it is one.
2. Don’t Google before or after. Save that for once you’re officially dating or even later. Like when she recommends it. See here and especially here for more eloquent arguments against Googling a date.
3. Wait until date 2 or 3 before friending her on Facebook. Because, really, there’s only a few possibilities here:
   • You didn’t have sex, and there is no second date… in which case, why do you want to be friends with her on FB?
   • You did have sex, but there is no second date… in which case she’ll unFriend you anyway.
   • The second date is going to happen… but as with the whole Googling question above, best to let things get sorted out a little more before you enmesh your lives.
4. When she asks, how does this rate in the scale of first dates via the internet?  Don’t even pause to think, just say it’s in the top three (or maybe five, if you’re an asshole).
5. Last, and most importantly: Don’t blog about the girl before the second date. Clearly, I haven’t learned this one yet.

Yes, dressing up in nothing but boobie tassles and a cork may be a turn-on to some dudes… but lets be real here. Don’t they always want what they can’t have… or what they can’t see?

We’re loving these rompers from Brulee. A comfortable solution to a night in with the man, lounging and romping, as an alternative to your University of Michigan oversized tee from 2001. A perfect solution for a sexual night in to cook dinner for our man without worrying about the dreaded stove to nip slip. Once someone chars a left breast, rest-assured, all lust is lost. These silky singlets have the texture for an enjoyable foreplay sesh to build up the ultimate disrobing anticipation. So here’s to what comes after the disrobing, ladies.

Find Brulee’s Boudoir Collection Teddy for $140 on Brulee.net

A friend texts me the other evening. “Look good tonight. I want you to meet my friend.”

What is she talking about? Don’t I always look good?

That concern aside, my friend (let’s call her A) introduces me to B that night, while at a live show on the LES. Apparently, both B and I are in need of getting laid… me, because my girlfriend and I broke up, and I need to get back in the saddle. B because… well… she’s new to town, and hasn’t gotten anything going yet.

Which means this is supposed to be a hookup of convenience, not of… I don’t know… raw chemical or physical attraction? And, to put it bluntly, neither of us is the other’s type.

Fine. We talk, there’s maybe a little bit of sympathetic experiences and some alcohol to grease the wheels and by the end of the show things are starting to look up. But then we’re standing outside and I ask B for a drag off of her cigarette. She gives it to me, saying, “well, I guess we both have herpes now.”

Really? What?

Later, when B finally leaves our little party to “get a drink,” A hits me and demands, “why didn’t you go with her??”

“Because she said she has herpes.”

“She was joking.”

How the fuck was I supposed to know that? See, when someone says, “I have herpes,” I hear “I have herpes,” not “take me home and fuck the shit out of me.”

Moral of the story? If you’re looking to get it on, don’t joke about STDs.

Fashion, Love, Sex, New York City, Relationships, Occupations, and Friendship is what Sex and the City has always stood for. But the new movie has lost touch in some of those areas. I can’t say a lot because I want you to see for yourself, but there is not a lot of NYC and there is not a lot of sex.  But there is a lot of Fashion. I think the fashion role was entirely too overpowered. Of course we all love fashion and there are some amazing outfits that the cast members wear, but the movie and story line tried too hard to win the audience over with all of the glitz and glamour. The true meaning of the entire story from the first episode was lost in this movie. Not to mention that it was second in the box office after Shrek. Isn’t this the third of fourth Shrek? Come on Sex and the City, this movie was so highly anticipated, why you would let us down! It was entirely too long and I wanted more love, more reality in the scenes, and more fun. To me, t was a disappointment. Beg to differ?

Nathan wants to know.

I, for one, find it reassuring that he’s not too heavily concerned with the effects of pregnancy transference or the chances of group sex STD’s.  However,  I do NOT find it reassuring that someone gave the old man a thumbs down.  He was the only one to legit answer the question. Well… other than user ‘It hurts when i pee…”

Leave it to the Germans…

We’ve always known the Germans to be “innovators.” Everyone’s had a moment where they’ve admired a German car, a German model or a pair of skinny Helmut Lang jeans. They’ve forged new frontiers in science and sent us some of our first NASA techs.  Well now, they’ve taken things one step further.

Introducing Vulva: the vaginal scent for your personal enjoyment.

I’d heard this product mentioned before in the context of “that foreign product named after a vagina.”

Vulva by Vivaeros

The advertising doesn’t say if it’s intended to be vaginal sweat or vaginal secretions, and it seems to have received mixed reviews across the internet. Their Wikipage describes it as “designed to stimulate the one who wears it” making Vulva the next new masturbatory gift.

Think of it as leaving a hint of yourself with that special someone else.

You can view the advertising here (NSFW) : (    and read more about it on Wikipedia.

Choreographer Stefanie Nelson compiled a group of sexy performers to perform her latest work Proximity Spiral at the Joyce Soho this weekend. If you have been to the Joyce Soho theater on Mercer street you will know that the proximity of the audience and the stage is pretty close and in-your-face. My seat was in the front row.

Each performer entered the performing “arena” one at a time and sat down in chairs on the periphery of red colored Marley floor laid on the standard black Marley flooring. When pre-performance activities happen while audience members are getting seated I get very anxious and curious. The red Marley floor gave me images of heat, hell, an oven, fire, and purgatory.

Proximity Spiral is inspired by the Fibonacci sequence, which apparently are number sequences 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34… (For all you number crunchers out there probably know some sort of theme, common denominator, etc. – to which I have no clue). “Proximity Spiral uses numbers to explore the physicality of intimacy”

Thematically throughout the entire piece there were lots of “intimate moments” that happen between the dancers that were either really disturbing, sensual, provocative, or violent in nature. Combined with flirty glances, an audience member would want to go home straight away after the performance and spend some time in bed, not sleeping.

The sound score by Sahand Rahbar and Hugh Mann was catchy and at times repetitious. This did not distract the movement by its complexities yet the sound was very loud and I felt like I was taken on a emotional rollercoaster just by the music alone. Add the athletic movement and intense relationships between the performers and I needed a glass of water to catch up with the intense reactions I was getting experiencing this performance.

The movement is punctuated with audible breath and intense pauses in very difficult positions; a deep lunge with a neck hold during Matthew Oaks and McKay Montz’s duet, a back bend by Ali Schecter, back crawling on the floor by Ariana Siegel with legs spread apart, these are just some of the moments that I remember that caused an uncomfortable stir from within. This intense piece ended with Ariana Siegel’s athletic solo in front and center and the rest of the dancers paired up in quiet and intimate duets. The calm that is washed over at the end of the piece leaves the audience finally relaxing into their seats.

I would definitely recommend checking out Stefanie Nelson’s latest work, Proximity Spiral. You will be entranced by the hot sweaty bodies on stage performing and trying to figure out the mathematical algorithm that Nelson is so inspired with in the first place.

Photography by Ian Shand, Dancer Ali Schecter & Jeffrey Kent Jacobs

Performances run March 18-21, 2010. (March 18-20 @ 8 pm, March 21 @ 3 pm). Joyce Soho is located at 155 Mercer Street (between Houston/Prince), New York, NY 10012

Click here for Youtube clip preview & ticket information!

For more information about Stefanie Nelson dance group please visit: www.sndancegroup.org

To read other reviews of Proximity Spiral go here:
NY Times by Gia Kourlas
Infinite Body blog by Eva Yaa Asantewaa
Oberon’s Grove by Philip Gardner

Two things Diddy Knows Best:

1. How to pop bottles
2. How to make things hot ( jams/ladies/white parties).

Make Valentine’s Day hot with Diddy’s signature bottle – Ciroc. You’ll  be channeling the Diddy charm when you’re mixin’ up one of their signature cocktails for your nightcap ( you know you like dat) with one of their new flavored Red Berry or Coconut flavors.  Your man or lady will be swooning and or drunk and ready for a night of baby makin’.

CÎROC Lady Lovely

• .5 oz Cîroc Red Berry
• .5 oz Green Chartreuse
• . 5 oz Luxardo cherry liquour
• .5 oz Lemon Juice
• top with champagne

Flowers n’ Silk

Want to surprise your Valentine with flowers? FTD is featuring The Sweetheart Sparks Valentine’s Day Bouquet, which features the finest pink Mokara Orchids, clustered around pale pink roses.

This gorgeous display of exotic elegance is seated in a glass vase that’s dressed up in a special exclusive silk chartreuse dragon wrap from BOBO that will surely make the perfect girt for that special someone.

The silk bouquet wrapped with the BOBO wrap is a 2-in one gift choice that is a multipurpose eco-luxe accessory that can be used to wrap other gifts, including a bottle of wine, a water bottle, or even a lunch or tissue box.

If you’re more a do-it yourselfer, you can make your own bouquet arrangement with this same chartreuse dragon wrap, by picking up the book “The Wrapping Scarf Revolution,” which features easy-to-follow, gorgeous techniques on the how-to of wrapping scarves that can easily be incorporated into your everyday life.

“Love Me Amor”

If flowers are not your thing, there is a limited edition “Love Me Amor”gift set from KC Tees. This gift set is priced at $30 and includes a women’s short sleeve vintage “Love” tee with an open neckline, capped sleeves and a fitted bodice-along with a matching “Amor” cotton thong panty.

The “Love Me Amor” gift set includes gift box wrapping (with red ribbon) for Valentine’s Day, alongside a Gift Tag.

KC Tees was created in an effort to inspire integrity, respect and self-esteem with messages we can all embrace. KC Tees promotes universal themes and messages, including: Peace, Love, Faith, Beauty, Unity and Hope!

Candles & The Perfect Truffle

Who doesn’t like candles and chocolates for Valentine’s Day?! The socially-conscious and eco-friendly line of natural soy candles and home fragrances has partnered with The Perfect Truffle to offer you two very special gift sets to give to your valentine.

These gift sets come in both small and large sizes and range in price from $24.99-$49.99.  Each gift set will include a candle, room spray, soy melt pack and a box of truffles (4 or 8 pieces). What are the truffle flavors you ask? Well since you asked, the flavors include Passion Fruit, Salted Dark Caramel, Espresso, Milk Chocolate, Hazelnut, Coucher du Soleil, Red Wine and Morello Cherry.

For Valentine’s Day, Butterfly Effects will also be featuring three special scents, including White Tea & Berries, Pink Sugar and Strawberry Shortcake. In addition to these three scents for the holiday, Butterfly Effects offers over 50 other fragrances for you to choose from.

Oh, and just one little FYI, The Perfect Truffle has earned a number of accolades for their European-style chocolates. The Perfect Truffle handcrafts their chocolates using only the finest ingredients from Switzerland, Belgium and France. The Perfect Truffle creates chocolates that are so good that they are the private chocolatier for the executive pasty chef at the White House.

Your mind might be telling you NOOOO…but your body’s telling you YESSSS.  You’ve been asking for it all night. You tease him in the club, throw some booty in his face, walk out of the club with determination, grab a cab and get to the spot. You start to make-out by the doorman, in the elevator, on the hallway floor and at the front door. He opens the door, leads to you his room, throws you on the bed and says those words you’ve been waiting to hear.

“Girl, you make me wanna get you pregnant.” ( Listen Below) R.-Kelly-Pregnant-feat.-Tyrese-Robin-Thicke-The-Dream

hold up! spread your baby-maker girrrrl

“He’s never felt like this. (You’re) more than a mistress. (He’s) about to handle (his) business.” R. Kelly is ready ladies, to “lay your body down and get you pregnant. (knocked up, knocked up),”  with his new jam “Pregnant” (feat. Tyrese, Robin Thicke & The-Dream). Get off your BC and get down with some baby makin’ because there’s no better time to put a bun in your belly than to the beat of the R’a –“put them pills on chill and get me my baby,” lady! Screw the protection, Kelly Kells wants to make them babies.

I’m a strong believer that if a “baby makin’” playlist is damn good, it could get you pregnant. One time I was mid-hook up with a smooth operator and he stops to put on some mood music. The jams were so hot, I started naming our baby.

And don’t worry “because in 30-some weeks, (he’s) still gonna hit it.”