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Posts Tagged ‘dating advice’

Are Blow jobs an Accurate Form of Communication?

TweetWe use blow jobs to get what we want, to get out of things we don’t want to do, as [...]

We use blow jobs to get what we want, to get out of things we don’t want to do, as a form of currency, and as a reward for our boyfriends, when they do something generous like sleep through the night without farting. So I ask you the question, are blow jobs an accurate form of communication? My answer is yes; The reason being, you can say more with a blow job than you can by speaking. If your boyf... More...


By • Mar 18th, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life


5 Reasons Not to Date a Dog Owner

TweetContrary to popular belief, dating a guy whose best friend is a dog isn’t all: “shirtless games of catch in [...]

Contrary to popular belief, dating a guy whose best friend is a dog isn’t all: “shirtless games of catch in the park” and “snuggling with cocoa on the couch while the dog licks your feet”. It also includes incredible experiences such as: “trying to scrape dog shit off the sidewalk in the rain” and “avoiding Lymes Disease while removing a tick with a lighter”. My point is that even... More...


By • Mar 16th, 2014 • Category: Dating, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS


Three Clever Ways to Approach a Hot Stranger

TweetI always see hot guys on the subway, but I never approach them. The reason for this is that I [...]

I always see hot guys on the subway, but I never approach them. The reason for this is that I have no way of knowing if they are gay, and also I am kind of a wimp when it comes to approaching strangers. If you have a vagina, you stand a much better chance at picking up a guy in public, especially since all you really have to do is stick your boobs out and they will come to you. I understand that its ... More...


By • Jun 23rd, 2013 • Category: Advice, Dating, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life


How to Avoid Becoming a Cat Lady

TweetLook around your apartment. Are there at least 3 random cats lounging around, plotting to kill you in your sleep? [...]

Look around your apartment. Are there at least 3 random cats lounging around, plotting to kill you in your sleep? Do these cats have strange names like Mr. Winkles, Marisa Cooper, and Tinkersmell? Do you work at an animal shelter, by any chance? Have your vagina been bone dry for the past year? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might be in danger of becoming a cat lady. No fear howe... More...


By • Apr 30th, 2013 • Category: Advice, Dating, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life


Relationship Spotting: Is Pinterest Encouraging Women To Be Doormats?

Tweet Every time I go on Pinterest, I gag at all the overly sentimental, flowery love images they ram down [...]

Every time I go on Pinterest, I gag at all the overly sentimental, flowery love images they ram down our throats. There are so many overly emotional messages there that say things like: “I’m not as strong as I pretend to be” or “Im the kind of girl who tells the cops I ran into my boyfriend’s fist because I am a Southern girl”. I understand that these little quot... More...


By • Dec 16th, 2012 • Category: Advice, Dating, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life


How to Guarantee You Will Never Get a Boyfriend

Tweet While trolling online looking for random naked photos of Dave Franco, I ran across this little image, and couldn’t [...]

While trolling online looking for random naked photos of Dave Franco, I ran across this little image, and couldn’t help but comment. This is possibly the worst advice you could ever give a girl, or anyone for that matter. I know it’s not #1 on everyone’s priority list, but we can all admit that its nice to have a guy around. If you follow this advice, that will most certainly neve... More...


By • Nov 27th, 2012 • Category: Advice, Dating, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life


Relationship Spotting: An Observation on Environmental Effects

TweetEver notice that when you dine at chain restaurants, you often see an abundance of silent, unhappy looking couples on [...]

Ever notice that when you dine at chain restaurants, you often see an abundance of silent, unhappy looking couples on dates? You know, the ones where the girl is wearing a spaghetti strap tanktop from JC Penney pre-brand reinvention, and the guy is always in a t-shirt and shorts – maybe even cut-off jean shorts? Well, my theory is that the date venue is (mostly) to blame. I recently found myse... More...


By • May 27th, 2012 • Category: Advice, Art, Dating, Dining, ENTERTAINMENT, Food, Nightlife, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life


Awful Dating Advice of the Day: Do Whatever (You Think) He Wants (You) to Do

What’s the weirdest part about this first-date suggestion?

Magazines are not typically bastions of enlightenment. But most of the time, their dating advice is way too general to make a fuss over. The tips are fun to read, if not always completely useful. I think of them as a semi-sensible map that can’t quite get me to my destination but will nonetheless provide some lighting for my trip. Something like the crazy aunt/uncle of spiritual guides. But ... More...


By • Mar 20th, 2012 • Category: Advice, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS


Girl, You’re Full of Normal Talk

Hey lady, lay off the normal.

YOU GUYS, YOU GUYS, IT’S ALMOST VALENTINE’S DAY, DID YOU KNOW THAT?!?!?!?! Sorry. Just had to get that out of the way. But with big V-Day coming up next week, I thought it’d be a good day to chat about the word “normal”. It seems like the normal thing to do, since February 14 is a day to celebrate love, and no other word sucks the fun out of love like the word “normal”. We wond... More...


By • Feb 10th, 2012 • Category: Dating, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS


How to Upgrade Your Dating Attitude

Sad clowns are no fun for anyone.

Everyone gets down in the dating dumps from time to time. It’s a natural side effect of the single life. Everyone goes through it. And despite how sucky it feels, it’s generally ok. But there’s a line at which ordinary blues becomes long-term self-loathing. The switch can happen at anytime but will devolve quickly whenever online date requests are running dry, and you suddenly inte... More...


By • Feb 7th, 2012 • Category: Advice, Dating, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS