Last night a Long Island pediatrician (Jewish, obviously) tweeted a link to his YouTube rap video about Shabbat at me. For those of you goys, Shabbat is Hebrew for “sabbath” and refers to the period of sundown from Friday evening to sundown on Saturday evening. For those of you cool kids in Brooklyn, this is the exact time when you’ll notice all the beards and top hats walking around the streets and perhaps even asking you for help to switch a light on or off. But back to the point at hand, the forever and ever union of Jews and black people… watch the video first, please:
Maybe it started with Moses (ya know, the Jewiest of all the Jews) because he grew up in Egypt. He ended up marrying one of the hottest gals in the bible- the Beyonce of biblical times- Tzipporah. Tzippy (as I’ll call her) was described as being pretty all around awesome in the Old Testament, and so started the fascination of Jewish men with black women. It didn’t end there, though. Jews love a good beat… it’s just in our blood, and facts be facts, black people are the masterminds of the music business. I don’t think there’s a single country you can go to on Earth at this point, regardless of ethnic predominance, that doesn’t have at least 2-3 top 10 singles by black artists. Simply impossible. Here are a few more bonds we both share that perhaps the whities of the world will be offended by (sorry, I love you all… this is just scientific):
We both pursue the arts and encourage our children to do so while other cultures just say “get a degree.”
We like our food to have flavor, period. Israelis pour on a spicy sauce called “skug” whilst most of my black friends make sure my cabinets are stocked with hot sauce before they visit me at home.
People are always hating us, trying to exterminate us, or coming up with new and unusual slang words to indicate how less-than they think we are (personally, I think they’re just jealous of our hair).
There’s a reason it’s called a Jew-fro, c’mon.
The lost tribe of Jews is Ethiopian… you can’t get much blacker than that.
Black people + Jews make beautiful, brilliant offspring. Proof? Lenny Kravitz. Drake.