HEALTH

Saggy Tits & Cigs

Written by Bryce

Let’s be real.  Saggy tits and cigs don’t mix.  Both are completely gross, so the way I see it, it’s one or the other… and preferably neither.  I think I’m going to start a charity (maybe a branch of American Lung) that focuses on helping women with saggy tits and chain smoking habits.  We’ll bring the best oncologists and plastic surgeons together to help people like Monica Wood free themselves of awful lives.

The lovely Monica was found wandering around her Clearwater, Fl trailer park in nothing but boxer shorts in the middle of the night.  She was in search of smokes.  How sad this addiction really is, one minute you’re killing yourself with fumes and chemicals, and the next minute you’re taking everyone else down with you by way of nauseating exposure to saggy tits.  The 52 year old nutsack was arrested, whew.

Anyone else predicting we’ll see her again for naked meth use?

About the author

Bryce

Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber

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