People pleasing, as defined by the dictionary of whatever makes the most sense in regards to what I’m writing means: Putting the wants and needs of others above your own, so much that you lose your sense of self, and lead an un-fulfilling life characterized by a lack of sexual pleasure and overall happiness. People pleasers generally care so much about the moods and happiness of the people around them, that they discount their own feelings. This stems directly from insecurity- people pleasers change themselves or modify their behavior in an attempt to please the people around them because they don’t inherently believe that they are enough to make anyone happy on their own.
How do I know all this? Because I used to be one. There was a time when I let my insecurities run my life, but I learned a very important lesson. The people in your life that are truly worth it will be happy just to be in your presence. If they aren’t, then they probably aren’t as awesome as you are. I have a good friend who likes to throw social gatherings with close friends, but every time he does he spends so much time trying to make sure everyone is having a good time that he misses out on the fun, himself. My strategy in these situations is to just make sure I am having fun, because if I am, then everyone else will too.
At the end of the day, the only person you really have to please is yourself. If you can manage that, then you can start worrying about all the assholes around you.
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