Relationship Spotting: Do We Sabotage Our Own Happiness?By Gary • May 15th, 2012 • Category: Advice, Dating, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS
Have you ever noticed that you constantly date the same guy over and and over again? Maybe he’s an artsy, out of work actor. Maybe he’s a bad boy with a juvie record longer than Jennifer Aniston’s list of failed rom-coms. Maybe (like me) he is a fresh out of the closet gay cross-over that is destined to want to fuck his way down the Eastern seaboard. For whatever reason, we constantly go after guys who we have proven time and time again, will not fulfill us. Why do we do this?
We are scared. Its human nature to be wary of what we don’t understand, and our own souls are at the top of the list of things we don’t understand. We are worried that if we go after what would really make us happy, it will be somehow un-fulfilling and will confirm what we have thought all along: That we are incapable of happiness. Perhaps we are worried that once we get what we really want, we won’t want it anymore. Maybe we are delusional about our true desires.
The majority of our decisions are based on fear. If we stop to really think about it though, we can narrow down what we really want. Instead of going for a crazy, dangerous adventure perhaps we should go after a strong sense of security and comfort. We might find out that the reason we wanted adventure in the first place is because we have never known security to begin with.
Constantly doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is insane. So take a different path and go after a different guy that you would never normally choose. I can’t promise you will be together forever, but I can promise that the experience will finally be different. Maybe something different is exactly what you need to stop sabotaging your own happiness.
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Gary is Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, photographer, and web designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
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