This is really ironic, but I was on a plane back to the city shamelessly reading the book White Girl Problems, when I had a semi-epiphany after reading something to the effect of “acceptance is key when it comes to relationships.” At first I thought I was in the midst of one of my caffeine-induced epiphany/motivation/optimistic rampages, but then I realized that it’s true: simple as it may sound, the secret to a happy and functioning relationship is acceptance. So many times I talk to friends who go on dates, try to act much chicer or sophisticated than they really are, and end up portraying a totally different person than themselves.
This can manifest in several detrimental – yet entertaining – ways: ordering a caesar salad at dinner with no dressing and celery in place of croutons and air in place of cheese, which inevitably leads to a late-night binge on whatever food you actually eat during non-date meals (is that 12 a.m. pizza I see?); refraining from being weird, because we all know that we have those weird times when you just want to do weird voices and/or weird faces (or at least I do); and the final manifestation, which is pathological lying. I kind of like this even though it never ends well. It doesn’t even have to be anything big; you could lie about totally being obsessed with almond milk because your date is, or saying you know exactly where your date’s hometown is when you have absolutely never heard of it, or, best of all, my friend once slipped into an accent while talking to a man then proceeded to formulate an intricate web of lies to explain the sudden onset of British intonation.
Everyone would be in a much more comfortable place with their dates or significant others if they were just completely themselves. Isn’t that what we all want? Someone to love you for who you are? I mean, if you’re aiming for marriage by 22 , then go ahead and keep up the lies and celery eating.