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How to Become the Perfect Woman via Plastic Surgery

Perfection through plastic surgery is an impossible goal.


I have never had plastic surgery, although if you look at a photo of me in high school you would think I had a nose job. I definitely wouldn’t call myself a late bloomer, but I don’t think my nose got that memo. I have had a little Botox here and there though, so I can totally understand why people get obsessed with changing their looks via surgery.

The problem is, when you fix your ‘biggest flaw’, which ever flaw was next in line suddenly becomes that much bigger. This process continues until you have tweaked every part of your body that ever had a bad day, and you look like a completely different person.

Trannies and real housewives everywhere know exactly what I am talking about.

READ MORE: Five Crazy Plastic Surgeries

I am not the kind of guy to tell you how to live, but there is a pretty simple litmus test for whether or not you should get plastic surgery.

Do get plastic surgery if you have a minor imperfection or flaw that you think would make you look and feel better, but your self esteem is generally unaffected by it.

Don’t get plastic surgery if you think that fixing that imperfection or flaw will instantly make your life better. You will be disappointed when it doesn’t happen, and blame it on another body part. And then another body part.

Eventually you will look like Little Kim, and then people will be afraid to get you wet or feed you after midnight.

I know my headline was a little misleading, because the truth is you cannot become the perfect woman via plastic surgery. First, you have to become the perfect woman by mentally by working on your self esteem, then you will realize that no amount of plastic surgery will make you any better, because you are great the way you are.

Then, get Botox. It doesn’t drastically alter your features permanently, and walking around with a frozen face is kind of fun because nobody ever knows what you are thinking.

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About the author

Gary

Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
--Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall

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