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Runaway Teenager Lives in Walmart for Five Days

TweetA teenage runaway in Texas lived in Walmart for five days before being discovered. Eventually, we all have to face [...]

A teenage runaway in Texas lived in Walmart for five days before being discovered. Eventually, we all have to face the day when someone else steals our lifelong dream, right out from under us. For me, that day is today. A teen boy from Corsicana, Texas was staying with his aunt while his parents were away, and decided to up and quit that bitch. Since the boy was obviously a genius, he went to Walm... More...


By • Aug 22nd, 2014 • Category: FOOD AND TRAVEL, HOME AND REAL ESTATE


Man Dies From Death by Vibrator

TweetThe age-old question of whether you can die from using sex toys has finally been answered. I don’t use sex [...]

The age-old question of whether you can die from using sex toys has finally been answered. I don’t use sex toys very often (or ever, to be honest, since I have actual human dicks that are interested in my orifices), but I want to take a stand right here, right now, and say that if a sex toy ever gets jammed up my ass so far that I lose it, the emergency room is the first fucking place I will go. ... More...


By • Aug 22nd, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life


Top Eight Shirtless Ice Bucket Challengers

TweetIf you are going to do the ice bucket challenge, at least do it shirtless. Like many others, I look [...]

If you are going to do the ice bucket challenge, at least do it shirtless. Like many others, I look at the ALS ice bucket challenge and instantly criticize it for being just another annoying social media fad like cocks in socks, batmanning, planking, and the boiling water challenge (for which some certain people should definitely be arrested). Then I think about the fact that regardless of whether peop... More...


By • Aug 20th, 2014 • Category: Internet, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS


Must-Watch Porn Parody Trailers

TweetPorn parodies: A celebration of the fact that sex is kind of funny. Like any red-blooded man, I will admit [...]

Porn parodies: A celebration of the fact that sex is kind of funny. Like any red-blooded man, I will admit that I watch porn. Pretty much every night, like clockwork, I load up Pornhub on my iPad, if only to ensure that I don’t turn into a raging bitch monster the next day. Masturbation is the cornerstone to all of my healthiest friendships and relationships. That being said, if you really thin... More...


By • Aug 19th, 2014 • Category: ENTERTAINMENT, TV


People Who Look Like Donuts

TweetIf you see a donut when you look at a person’s face, you probably haven’t had your morning coffee yet. [...]

If you see a donut when you look at a person’s face, you probably haven’t had your morning coffee yet. Coffee and a donut is a typical morning ritual for the average suburban American (coffee and a bagel for the average urban dweller) (coffee and a bump of meth if you are from the South). I don’t drink coffee, and I only allow myself a donut when I want one, so I guess I can’t relate. Rega... More...


By • Aug 19th, 2014 • Category: Dining, Food


Apparently, Giant Hornets Make Awesome Pets

TweetGiant hornets are the newest pet trend in Japan. I am being totally sarcastic in both my title, and headline, [...]

Giant hornets are the newest pet trend in Japan. I am being totally sarcastic in both my title, and headline, so please do not think that you could ever possibly keep a giant hornet as a pet. The Japanese giant hornet is a super aggressive bitch of an insect (one of the largest, angriest insects in the world), at two inches long with a quarter inch stinger. Not only do they look scary, but they can ... More...


By • Aug 18th, 2014 • Category: ENTERTAINMENT


7 Steps to Perform Perfect Cunnilingus

TweetAdvice on how to properly eat a vagina. Yes, even though I am gay I have performed oral sex on [...]

Advice on how to properly eat a vagina. Yes, even though I am gay I have performed oral sex on a girl before. It was a foursome with three other guys, in high school, and I only did it on the off chance that I could get with them too (which I later did), but I still took one for the team and played tonsil hockey with a fuzz box. Did I know what I was doing? FUCK no. I have given much advice over the ... More...


By • Aug 17th, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life


Ever Wanted to Stare Into Ryan Gosling’s Eyes as you Poop?

TweetThe ladies bathroom at Bang Bang, in San Diego is wallpapered with Ryan Gosling’s hotness. Honestly I think women spend [...]

The ladies bathroom at Bang Bang, in San Diego is wallpapered with Ryan Gosling’s hotness. Honestly I think women spend enough time in the bathroom, so wallpapering the crapper in your restaurant with nothing but photos of Ryan Gosling seems like a recipe for a lot of disgruntled customers. It is also however, a great publicity stunt. Bang Bang, a new sushi restaurant in California is now being bomb... More...


By • Aug 17th, 2014 • Category: Food, FOOD AND TRAVEL


Did You Know Rich Indian Men Wear Solid Gold Shirts?

TweetIn India, if you are super wealthy and extremely tacky, you wear a shirt made of solid gold. Let’s face [...]

In India, if you are super wealthy and extremely tacky, you wear a shirt made of solid gold. Let’s face it, some parts of India are absolutely breathtaking and beautiful. In other cases, India is where good taste goes to die. Pankaj Parakh, an Indian textile magnate and local politician celebrated his 45th birthday by purchasing a 4-kilogram gold shirt worth over $200,000. If Pankaj ever ‘g... More...


By • Aug 17th, 2014 • Category: FASHION, Tops


Gay Pride in Africa

TweetUgandans took part in the 3rd annual gay pride parade on August 9th, 2014 after the invalidation of anti-gay laws. [...]

Ugandans took part in the 3rd annual gay pride parade on August 9th, 2014 after the invalidation of anti-gay laws. I don’t normally get very political, but some times things happen around the world that require a mention. If you are an upwardly mobile chick living in the US, chances are you have at least one gay friend, if not a bunch of them (and probably one or two ex-boyfriends #amiright?). In the ... More...


By • Aug 15th, 2014 • Category: Cities, FOOD AND TRAVEL