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Sex Slang from the Past That Makes No Sense Today

TweetThese slang terms for sexual intercourse from the past 600 years would not work in the modern world, as I [...]

These slang terms for sexual intercourse from the past 600 years would not work in the modern world, as I have no idea what the fuck they mean. In my own personal vocabulary, I have no less than 100 ways to refer to sex. Sometimes I call it ‘going downtown to poundtown’, and other times I just call it ‘Friday night’. Our society has never been more open about sexuality, to the point where even... More...


By • Jul 27th, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life


The World’s Most Phallic Building

TweetThe Ypsilanti water tower in Michigan was named the world’s most phallic building by Cabinet Magazine. In case you aren’t [...]

The Ypsilanti water tower in Michigan was named the world’s most phallic building by Cabinet Magazine. In case you aren’t aware, I like dicks. I like dick-shaped cakes, dick flavored ice cream, and actual dicks, of all shapes and sizes. I pretty much see dicks everywhere I go, so if I ever find myself in Ypsilanti, you can bet your bottom dollar I will be standing in front of the water tower, inst... More...


By • Jul 27th, 2014 • Category: Cities, FOOD AND TRAVEL


Look Good for the Apocalypse with a Fashionable Gas Mask

TweetProtective gas masks have recently received a fashionable makeover. Just because the world is going to end soon, doesn’t mean [...]

Protective gas masks have recently received a fashionable makeover. Just because the world is going to end soon, doesn’t mean you can’t look good. With all the Asians in New York wearing those horrible hospital masks, it was really only a matter of time before someone decided to dial up the fashion a few notches. The first “social gas mask” was recently invented, designed for chemical warf... More...


By • Jul 27th, 2014 • Category: FASHION


Welcome to the Peacock-pocalypse

TweetThe city of Palos Verdes, California is chock-full of free-roaming peacocks. Peacocks are my favorite animal, based on the fact [...]

The city of Palos Verdes, California is chock-full of free-roaming peacocks. Peacocks are my favorite animal, based on the fact that they are beautiful assholes, which I can relate to. So if I ever decide to move to a suburb of California, the Rolling Hills Estates in Palos Verdes will probably be my first choice. Peacocks have had free range of the town for the last 100 years, believed to have come... More...


By • Jul 25th, 2014 • Category: Cities, FOOD AND TRAVEL


Top 7 Geometric Tattoos

TweetIf you are looking to get a hip, stylish tattoo, you could do worse than a geometric design. The two [...]

If you are looking to get a hip, stylish tattoo, you could do worse than a geometric design. The two fundamental lies that every child is told are that you have to go to college to be successful, and that when you grow up, you will use math every day. I am that guy that took 2 years just to pass pre-algebra, so I can say with some certainty that I don’t use math every day. Regardless of that, geom... More...


By • Jul 23rd, 2014 • Category: Skin


10 Must-Have Drinking Accessories

TweetIf you really like to drink, you have to buy these 10 alcohol accessories immediately. A spill-proof martini glass for [...]

If you really like to drink, you have to buy these 10 alcohol accessories immediately. A spill-proof martini glass for sloppy homos everywhere (like me). Normally on Tuesday afternoons, I write about sex and relationships. Today is no exception, since I believe the most important relationship a person can have is with alcohol. Alcohol is also the tool I use to get laid most of the time, so this post... More...


By • Jul 22nd, 2014 • Category: Food


Hungry? Have Some Gummy Bear Sausage

TweetGummy Bear bratwurst is all the rage when it comes to candy and meat sausages. It’s no secret that I [...]

Gummy Bear bratwurst is all the rage when it comes to candy and meat sausages. It’s no secret that I like gummy bears, and love sausages, (yes, that’s a dick joke), so when I found out that Grundhofer’s Old Fashioned Meats in Minnesota had combined the two, I simply had to share it. Grundhofer’s actually has over 50 different flavors of bratwurst, including ridiculous flavors like Bloody Mary... More...


By • Jul 22nd, 2014 • Category: Food, FOOD AND TRAVEL


Did You Know McDonald’s Hosts Weddings?

TweetIf you want your wedding to be both classy and elegant, you really have no choice but to host it [...]

If you want your wedding to be both classy and elegant, you really have no choice but to host it at McDonald’s. Where else would this be happening except Hong Kong? Young couples in Asia have begun to host their weddings at McDonald’s to satisfy their small budgets. For $350 you get the venue, decorations, audio, food, gifts, and invitations. For all of you silly bitches about to sign divorce pape... More...


By • Jul 20th, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, WEDDING


How to Scuba Dive with Sea Unicorns

TweetNarwhals are the unicorns of the sea, so you should probably scuba dive with them immediately. If you are the [...]

Narwhals are the unicorns of the sea, so you should probably scuba dive with them immediately. If you are the type of adventurous chick who isn’t afraid of jumping into freezing water and being impaled by a 4-foot long tusk, listen up. The waters of Conception Bay, in Newfoundland, Canada is a great place to go on a summer adventure. The waters are full of plankton, which draws the attention of a... More...


By • Jul 20th, 2014 • Category: FOOD AND TRAVEL, Vacations


Five of the World’s Weirdest Jobs

TweetIt doesn’t matter what you are willing to do for money, chances are there is someone out there who will [...]

It doesn’t matter what you are willing to do for money, chances are there is someone out there who will pay you for it. Professional Sleeper- a person hired by hotels to sleep in various rooms and blog about it. This job is right up my alley since I take 3 naps every day. I have had a lot of strange jobs in my life. From a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman (mostly mobile homes), to a dishwasher in a... More...


By • Jul 20th, 2014 • Category: ENTERTAINMENT, FOOD AND TRAVEL