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Looking For A Bro With Fancy Footwork

Written by Emily

I’ve said it once and I’ll shout it from the rooftops: “I LOVE CRAIGSLIST!” It’s a simple joy like watching Hoarders that makes you feel a little bit better about your life. Well this champ from Philly just wants to dance, and who can blame him? I could write the specifics, but just read for yourself.

WOW! Those are some requirements! You need a “Bachelor’s in something or equivalent experience?!” What kind of Bachelors degree would be acceptable? A B.A in Delusion with a minor in Cool Moves?! I also want to know how being a “narc” would generally take you out of the running to be involved in such an intricate knife-wielding generally unsafe act. Ok, here’s the next best part.

What?! Wow dude. Nothing says “Seriously I’m not gay” as repeating it over, and over, and over. Also, saying that you’ve “gotten with hot chicks as recently as just now” is a key indicator that you probably haven’t as recently as ever. AND you asked for someone with a Bedazzler. This sentence means no sense to me and I’d love if someone translated: “If you touch my junk with anything but your own I will BF you in the M.” No se compadre. I love MJ as much as the next person, but I think you need help. Oh, and if you thought he might not have put a picture in of himself, you’d be wrong! ENJOY!

About the author

Emily

a native New Yorker with an enormous brain that's on a never-ending quest for high style, men with accents, and any place with a disco ball. Fastest way to her heart is a guy that loves sushi and knows the difference between "there," "their," and "they're."

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