Jewish Boys: The New Black

It’s come to my attention that it’s now considered “cool” to date Jewish boys.  Although I’ve had limited relationships, they’ve mostly been with Jewish boys (or old men), and I’ve got them as brothers, and one as a kid.  I can vouch for them.

So, I present to you my good friend Steve.  Steve and I have known each other about 10 years… and he’s always been the more reasonable half of our friendship.  In high school, I’d be scheming and up to mischief as usual and Steve would politely say “Bryce, I don’t want to be involved in whatever you’re doing.”  Although he’s a bit older than me, his mother enlisted my help to teach Steve how to iron, cook, and clean before heading off to college.  I can vouch for the fact that Steve knows how to do all these things, and dating him wouldn’t be like babysitting.

That being said, it’s time that Steve finds a nice lady to get cozy with.  His past endeavors have only turned up rancid women, crazy whores, and people that anyone with good taste wouldn’t like.  I tried to fix him up with a good friend of mine not too long ago, but she apparently isn’t into “nice guys” …WTF?!

Steve scares my baby, but won't scare you.

Steve scares my baby, but won't scare you.

So here are some fun facts about Steve:

  • 5’10”
  • Green eyes and light brown hair
  • Don’t let his thin physique fool you, the guy can eat a bucket of lard in a sitting
  • He’s a music whore (at shows and concerts all the time, and he’s in the biz on a professional level)
  • His mom and sister are lovely, and they cook!
  • His other best friend (other than me) is a small Japanese girl that should be the basis of several scientific studies.  She’s part of the package, and you’ll enjoy her.
  • He’s probably the most sincere person I know.


So, that being said, if you’d like to date Steve… Leave a comment here with your first name, age, and a little about yourself.   He’s a catch, and I know one of you girls must be perfect for him!

If it works out… your baby together could look like this:


Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber