Do I think owling is absolutely retarded? Yes. But yesterday was all about doing things you wouldn’t normally do so I figured What the Hell?
As you may know I am at home visiting family in Panama City, Fl. One of the things guys do here is get together with a bunch of beer and go scalloping. This involves crawling around in 3 ft water with a snorkel on digging through sea weeds to find scallops. It is a lot more awesome than it sounds. Naturally I filled my scallop bag up with Bud Light to take for the incredible undersea adventure. After 5 minutes, it was like drinking flavored alcoholic bathwater–but it did the job.
My brother joined us which created an interesting ratio of two straight guys–one with a redneck accent so thick he kept saying anywho, and two gay guys–one so gay he was wearing pink watershoes. It was kind of a perfect mix. At first scalloping seemed kind of like a dirty activity. At the end I realized it was definitely a dirty activity. I facetimed my friend Bryce, who is the last person in the world I could convince to do this with me. She just smiled and said : “You are drinking beer in the car?”
More pics after the jump
So I was pretty proud of the scallops we did catch and the fun continued later when we had to suck the guts out with a shop vac. I was very drunk at this point–at one point we went to Winn Dixie and spent like 30 bucks on steak. I went into a convenience store called Cheap Butts and some guy said: Hey buddy, your hair is stickin up. The woman behind the counter asked where we were from–my brother in law said Cali, Arkansas, and New York. She said: He looks like he is from New York.
I took mild offense to this-not because she was obviously saying that I looked gay–but because I am proud to be from the South. It means I know how to relax and am not afraid of getting dirty.
My brother and I found some crystal clear beaches to wash off in–and had a sand fight. I licked the raw insides of a clam–something everyone knows is the last thing I would ever do (sorry ladies). I am reasonably sure I hit on a redneck guy we all met. I gave lit sparklers to a 2 year old.
The night ended with me and my sister getting even more fucked up together and laying on her living room floor laughing about the fact that she has a baby now. It was exactly the kind of day I expect to have when I come visit my family.
It feels good to be back.
via [ gloganvlog ]
