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How to Tell the Difference Between a Real Thing and a Rebound

By • Aug 13th, 2013 • Category: Advice, Dating, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life

I have found myself discussing rebounds a lot lately. For those who don’t know, a rebound is when you end a relationship and are so used to being with someone that you immediately try and re-create that connection and situation with someone else.

real relationships

We are all guilty of this, and the story always ends up the same way. One day, you wake up next to your rebound and realize that you would rather gnaw your arm off than wake them up for morning sex. You immediately stop returning their calls as a way of trying to phase them out of your life. You will most likely have the thought: “What the Hell was I thinking?” on a daily basis. Your rebound won’t understand what went wrong because they didn’t just get out of a relationship. Long story short, rebounding with someone is kind of a dick move. Here are several ways you can tell the difference between a rebound and a real thing.

Did you facilitate the breakup, or did your ex? If you did, chances are you probably got over him or her while you were still together, you asshole. If they broke things off, you probably haven’t processed the changes yet, thus you might be rebounding.

Even though you just got dumped, are you super surprised that you immediately found someone else that you have so much in common with? Do you already feel like you are in love and ready to go shopping for shitty Ikea furniture even though you don’t even know their middle name? Yeah, you’re rebounding.

Do you feel honest chemistry with them? When you look into their eyes, do you feel stirrings in your crotchal region? Do you find that you want to rip their clothes off as soon as you get alone with them, or does sex with them just feel more like a chore? If the sexual connection isn’t earth shattering, it is probably a rebound.

Are you bored? Do you make excuses for the lack of stimulating conversation? Do you feel like you are constantly coming up with things to do and say to keep the dates interesting? If you are dating a wet blanket but feel like you just have to wait for them to come out of their shell (meaning grow a fucking personality), you might be rebounding.

There is nothing wrong with rebounding, except for the fact that it hurts someone else. Breakups are shitty, but it is important to let yourself feel all the emotions and go through the pain of separation so you can get back to yourself again. Fuck someone else, if you want. Fuck everyone else, if you want. Just don’t inflict your unreliable emotions one someone who just wants to be loved.

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is Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, photographer, and web designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story. http://www.adrianrand.com
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