How to Deflower Your Virgin Son on CraigslistBy Gary • Jul 21st, 2013 • Category: Adult Health, ENTERTAINMENT, FAMILY, HEALTH, Parenting
There is a special bond between a mother and son that we sometimes hear about. It is said that mothers tend to love their sons so much that they would do anything for them, apparently including soliciting girls on Craigslist for fake relationships and very real sex.
An unidentified mother in Philadelphia recently used Craigslist to try and find a girl to take her son’s virginity before he went off to college at Harvard. In exchange, she promised to make the girl’s financial problems “disappear” and even hinted that she might provide a car to any willing participants. Her thought was that she didn’t want her son to go off to college as a virgin, because he obviously needed her help since he had never had a girlfriend.
Personally, this mom is my hero. The reason I say that is because my own mother can barely even type (she still uses the program Mavis Beacon, if that is any indication), so she will probably never possess the skills to try and find me sex using the internet. Taking a proactive step like this shows that this Philadelphia mom is a tech-savvy millennial-hip mom that isn’t afraid to break the law if it makes her son better in bed.
The only problems are as follows:
a) Her son has probably had lots of sex and just hasn’t told her about it. In my family, we discuss our sexual partners openly, but I doubt that is the norm, especially in Pennsylvania, with all those quakers, or mormons, or whoever those strange bearded people are that still drive buggies like we are living in a third world country.
b) Her son is probably gay. She mentions that he prefers to take his buddies everywhere with him, has never had a girlfriend, and plays several sports. It wouldn’t be the first time a parent tried to buy a female hooker for their gay son, but it would probably be the first time it happened unknowingly.
Whatever the case is, this mother is taking an active role in her son’s life and isn’t afraid to face that fact that her kid will soon be a sexually active adult. She gets an A+ for innovation, but a C- for execution, because trying to set her son up with a complete stranger from Craigslist seems like a one-way ticket to Herpes-town.
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Gary is Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, photographer, and web designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
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