Have meager, disappointing nipples? Fight back with Sticky Nips

WTF, America?!

I feel sexy, I feel excited, and I feel ‘wow’. But I don’t feel cold. The joke is on you.”

StickyNips are the latest in bootleg breast enhancement. Do you have tiny unassuming nipples that would put a baby hamster to shame? Do you ever look at your teats and think: “God, I hate my mosquito bites–now nobody will know how horny I am”. Have you ever looked at a presentation room full of colleagues and wished they would objectify you sexually?Β  If so, StickyNips might be for you. Purchase them today so that everyone you meet will think you are a freezing horndog with areolas the size of dinner plates. Also available for people who have third nipples, or even nipples on their feet.

And if that weren’t ridiculous enough, the phone number to call is 1-877-Robust-1.

About the author'


Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
--Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall

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