Girl, You’re Full of Normal TalkBy Karina • Feb 10th, 2012 • Category: Dating, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS
YOU GUYS, YOU GUYS, IT’S ALMOST VALENTINE’S DAY, DID YOU KNOW THAT?!?!?!?!
Sorry. Just had to get that out of the way.
But with big V-Day coming up next week, I thought it’d be a good day to chat about the word “normal”. It seems like the normal thing to do, since February 14 is a day to celebrate love, and no other word sucks the fun out of love like the word “normal”.
We wonder about being normal all the time. We wonder when we’re in love, when we’re not, when we’re wanting to be in love, and when we’re not. We just met somebody great, but we’re anxious to close off our other options – is that normal? We’ve been dating this guy for a while, but he hasn’t said “I love you yet” – is that normal? We have a thing for guys with coffee breath – that’s definitely not normal, right?
It’s the easiest thing to fall into the trap of what’s normal when it comes to relationships. But does being normal mean you’ve got the best type of relationship? Does it win you a prize to Disney World? Last I called in, the Disney folks told me they were happy for me, but still, no dice. The reason we’re so fixated on having a normal love life is because we’re force fed representations of relationships and love that are not normal. That teach us that love stories come in three simple parts: the first encounter, the bed encounter, and Love. Sometimes four parts, because a curve ball along the way will at least make it look a little more normal. This craziness has gotten to the point where if something is actually going right in relationships – I’ll get freaked. Everything’s going great. That can’t be normal! So my barometer is screwed, but you know what? I don’t need it anymore.
I’ve found that miscro-scoping the tiniest particles of my life to test for normal-ness is not the way to find a great boyfriend, great friends, or make awesome red pepper dip to bring to an awesome dinner party. And it’s definitely not the way to make sure I become more normal. Unless your definition of normal is someone who keeps a secret tally of every friend’s dating histories so that she has something to compare her own with.
How about stable as a word to strive for in our relationships? Or healthy. Solid. Golden, exceptional, wonderful. The best thing ever. Why aim for anything else? That would be so, well, normal.