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First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes…Weight Gain?

By • Sep 7th, 2011 • Category: Adult Health, HEALTH, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life

Today in “News that makes you never want to do anything, ever”, a team of researches at Ohio State University discovered unsettling patterns of weight gain with women and men who take to the alter. In sum, it’s mostly women over 30 who see a significant increase in weight post-nuptials, while men experience an overall steadying on the scale.

The folks at GOOD magazine explore some possibilities for this uneven distribution, all of which make the wife-life look less appealing than the crappy piece of pizza I ate in desperation a few hours ago. The article offers an explanation, citing the study’s authors:

“‘Men after marriage do not gain [significant] weight because they enjoy a healthy lifestyle and receive stronger emotional support’—in other words, they’ve got the time, energy, and help to maintain a steady weight, thanks to the sacrifices of their spouses. Across the aisle, though, ‘the unsettling effect of a marriage for women may be strong enough to cause large weight gain.’”

And in case that doesn’t paint a dismal enough image, the author lists the other sorts of perks husbands are more likely to enjoy, such as  “more money and more promotions than single guys”, a longer life and an overall improvement in health including less heart disease, less stress, and less use of alcohol and marijuana.

The silver lining in this grey cloud? The trend in weight gain appears to reverse itself eventually, given the couple divorces. Now, you don’t have to buy all of this science crap – after all, it’s just a bunch of numbers reduced to averages. But if you take nothing else from this, let it be to forego the diet-slave routine commonly performed by brides-to-be. Because I’m betting that this is what’s responsible for a number of before and after pounds. That, and your new husband’s insistence on whipping up delicious deserts that he feeds to you in bed, of course.

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is Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber
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  • risingsun

    probably won’t stick around…if you start looking like that^

  • Shutterbug

    I have gained a lot of weight since I have been married. I tend to overeat when I am stressed or depressed and I have found that my expectations of marriage do not match up with reality. My husband was involved and took responsibility during our courtship and now that we are married he sits around and expects me to do everything. As soon as we were married he stopped trying. I feel like I do not have enough time to focus on myself because I am too busy handling everything else. I feel like instead of gaining a partner I adopted a child.