Don’t Drank and Drive?

The internets is all abuzz this month with the latest, hottest way for white college students to safely co-opt hip hop culture. Drank beverage, distributed by the publicly traded IBH Distribution, touts itself as an “EXTREME RELAXATION” beverage, promising to “slow your roll.” Think of it as an anti-energy drink.

Drank, a purple liquid in a purple can with hip hop-inspired design, is an obvious allusion to Purple Drank. Purple Drank, aka Sizzurp, is a concoction of prescription cough medicine, sprite, and a Jolly Rancher for flavor and color. Its referenced all over hip-hop, and that shit will fuck you up for real. Sedation, hallucination, death from an overdose. L’il Weezy of course loves it.

From its bold claims, I was almost afraid to try the Drank. I thought it might knock me on my ass and ruin my productive day. Finally I found an opportunity to test out its sedative potential. It was 3am, I was wide-awake for reasons I could not explain, and I had an early meeting. I was hoping the power of Drank could help me go to bed.

I cracked one open. To my surprise, Drank was a light and refreshing grape soda. It would most likely taste amazing with vodka. I finished the entire 16 oz can in about 10 minutes, parked myself in a comfy chair and waited. For an hour. And nothing happened.

I checked out Drank’s active ingredients:

• Melatonin
• Valerian Root
• Rose Hips

All unproven herbal medicine snake oils. Awesome! After another hour of waiting, I just took a double dose of plain old Nyquil and passed out. Drank’s sedative properties are apparently nonexistent.

Drank’s marketers are trying to leverage sizzurp’s street cred to move some beverages. At $2.50 a can, it might be fun to knock one back and amuse your friends once or twice. The name is funny and it tastes ok, but Drank is just another fad, and soon it will slow its roll into obscurity.

Drank Beverage
http://www.drankbeverage.com/