Cucumber Masturbation?!

Stella, yes, you can use plastic wrap to avoid bacteria, but it probably won’t prevent cucumber babies.  Thanks for teaching your daughter about safe masturbation!


Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce’s aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber

  • Jules

    Never eating a salad at their house…*gag*

  • enana827

    11?? Oh my gosh, that’s so sad.

  • Daniel

    11 is not THAT bad, I started using a cucumber when I was around 12

    My main issue is with her concern with keeping the cucumber clean. Cucumbers are for one time use only and should be disposed of when you’re done… so it doesn’t really matter.

  • Josie

    That is a troubled household.
    Is a mother really asking an online website if plastic wrap is a safe alternative to a condom…for her daughter to use on a cucumber for masturbation?!!! There are so many things wrong with this one. Im actually amazed and dumbfounded by this one.