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Cheese Tea: why do you exist?

Written by Bryce

Cheese tea exists and it’s literally the most horrid thing we’ve seen in ages.

Humanity has a lot of issues to deal with, and we’re putting cheese tea high on that list. There is simply no reason tea needs to be served with a giant heap of gloppy cheese on top, and no, this isn’t like the time someone realize cheese might be great served sweet and as a cake. This is inappropriate on every social, moral, economic, and culinary level.

This is cheese tea. Credit: instagram.com/sbsfood

If you read to Condé Nast Traveler, cheese tea, a tea topped with a mushy-textured “whipped” cheesy blob, is something that’s spreading faster than wifi passwords across Asian teahouses, and it’s made its way to the states.

CHEESE TEA IS ON AMERICAN SHORES, PEOPLE.

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Instead of your regularly scheduled normal tea (with or without sweetener), cheese tea takes your brew and tops it with whipped cheese that honestly doesn’t even need to exist. It’s a sort of chunky, messy foam mixture that’s meant to offset tea’s naturally bitter taste, resulting in a smoother, less harsh flavor profile. Like a milkshake, one might say. But here’s a newsflash: matcha milkshakes already exist just about everywhere and this is a gimmick that sounds, looks, and probably tastes awful (even worse than that sprayable tea from last year).

If you’re wondering where it’s available in the states, we were only able to track it down at Fluffy Head Cafe in Los Angeles. We were so much happier when California was putting out mermaid donuts.

This cannot be right. Credit: instagram.com/otarusecret.id

This isn’t the future we were promised. Save your whipped cheeses for French onion soup.

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About the author

Bryce

Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber

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