Archives for the ‘SHINFO’ Category
Top Five Weird Piercings
Tweet I’ve only had one piercing in my life, and it was my tongue. I was 18, impressionable, and slutty, [...]
I’ve only had one piercing in my life, and it was my tongue. I was 18, impressionable, and slutty, so I decided that having a tongue piercing was the best way to let guys know that I would basically blow them for a cheeseburger. What I didn’t count on was getting the flu, and having my tongue swell up to twice its size. Needless to say, I soon realized that it made me look trashy, but I... More...
By Gary • Jan 23rd, 2013 • Category: BEAUTY, SHINFO, Skin
Breaking News: Attack of the Killer Boobs
Tweet Did you know that you have two murder weapons dangling from your chest? In what was described as a [...]
Did you know that you have two murder weapons dangling from your chest? In what was described as a “boozed up trailer park fight” by officials, Donna Lange, 51 smothered her boyfriend to death with her boobs. Even though he pleaded for his life, he was rushed to the hospital and couldn’t be revived. I have several comments on this: 1. At 51-years-old, if your jugs are still bouya... More...
By Gary • Jan 17th, 2013 • Category: Adult Health, ENTERTAINMENT, HEALTH, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, SHINFO, Skin
Top Five Stupid Pet Accessories
Tweet Most people consider pets a part of the family. I have no problem with this, as I remember all [...]
Most people consider pets a part of the family. I have no problem with this, as I remember all the pets we had growing up, and how sad I was every time one of them got run over (it only happened about 60 times). Some people, however, consider pets accessories (every cast member of the Real Housewives franchise, I am looking at you). These people spend ridiculous amounts of money on their anima... More...
By Gary • Jan 16th, 2013 • Category: HEALTH, SHINFO
Awkward Spotting- Keep Your Tacky Head Warm With The Ponytail Hat
Tweet The sheer amount of WTF I feel when I look at this photo is flabbergasting. This ponytail hat has [...]
The sheer amount of WTF I feel when I look at this photo is flabbergasting. This ponytail hat has to be one of the most ridiculous soccer-mom inventions of all time. First of all, it looks like these fine ladies stuck their heads up the business end of a beehive. That, or a seagull that ate just a little too much chocolate got explosive diarrhea whilst flying directly overhead. Secondly, the p... More...
By Gary • Jan 15th, 2013 • Category: FASHION, SHINFO
Rant of the Week: Some Thoughts on Lame Chinese Character Tattoos
Tweet Do you remember that spring break that you drank one too many titty-twister shots, and your best frenemy dared [...]
Do you remember that spring break that you drank one too many titty-twister shots, and your best frenemy dared you to get a tattoo? You wanted to impress that nameless frat guy that was paying for all your shots and roofies, so you decided to get something sensible, settling on a chinese character for hope (as in I hope I don’t catch chlamydia tonight). Then, several weeks later you were ... More...
By Gary • Jan 10th, 2013 • Category: Adult Health, BEAUTY, HEALTH, SHINFO, Skin
Five Fashionably Inappropriate Necklaces
Tweet I know its normally Emily or Bryce’s job to cover fashion, but I can’t help but comment on all [...]
I know its normally Emily or Bryce’s job to cover fashion, but I can’t help but comment on all the fashionably inappropriate necklaces I have seen lately. It all started with Rihanna wearing a necklace that dropped the C bomb. I was so offended, shocked, and impressed that I went out and got a similar necklace, except mine was made of pearls. Okay, that isn’t the truth. I had... More...
By Gary • Jan 9th, 2013 • Category: FASHION, Jewelry, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, SHINFO, Toys
Awkward Spotting: What is the Point of Rape Whistles?
Tweet Of all the pointless inventions I have heard of over the years, the rape whistle has to be one [...]
Of all the pointless inventions I have heard of over the years, the rape whistle has to be one of the worst. The idea of a rape whistle is to draw attention to yourself, but I think it might be the wrong kind of attention. Whistles remind people of either the middle-school gym classes they hated (lesbian gym teachers massaging their nipples as they watch you climb the rope), or of crossing guard... More...
By Gary • Jan 8th, 2013 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life, SHINFO
Top Five Adorable Baby Animals
Tweet Everyone knows that there is absolutely nothing cuter than a baby animal. If cats and dogs stayed kittens and [...]
Everyone knows that there is absolutely nothing cuter than a baby animal. If cats and dogs stayed kittens and puppies forever, there would be a lot fewer bleeding hearts commercials where Sarah Mclachlan begs for donations and shows you photos of homeless-looking strays. In the interest of celebrating all things adorable, I tracked down the top five adorable baby animal photos. Enjoy! Related Posts... More...
By Gary • Jan 2nd, 2013 • Category: Babies, SHINFO
Top Five Inappropriate Apology Cakes
Tweet Sometimes you do something so heinous, so laughable, that the only way to apologize for it properly is through [...]
Sometimes you do something so heinous, so laughable, that the only way to apologize for it properly is through baked goods. If you are a girl, you can whip up a cake using the random items laying around in your fridge. If you are a boy, you may have to suffer the embarrassment of walking into publix and explaining your shame to the head master-baker. Regardless, there is no better way to say I... More...
By Gary • Dec 26th, 2012 • Category: Advice, Food, FOOD AND TRAVEL, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, SHINFO
Rant of the Week: How to Survive Your Family During the Holidays
Tweet Yesterday I flew to Florida. My flight was delayed when the plane had to return to the gate to [...]
Yesterday I flew to Florida. My flight was delayed when the plane had to return to the gate to let off two babies who wouldn’t stop shrieking like tiny banshees, and then I realized I was sitting in front of a 12-year-old boy with tourette’s, who kept kicking the back of my seat and talking about how majestic rattlesnakes are. And that was just on the journey here. Its no secret that ... More...
By Gary • Dec 20th, 2012 • Category: FAMILY, Family Health, FOOD AND TRAVEL, SHINFO, Vacations
