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Archives for the ‘Toys’ Category

WTF: Inappropriate Childrens Toys

TweetSome toys are not actually meant for children. A ‘two finger squirter’, also known as a girl that accidentally pees [...]

Some toys are not actually meant for children. A ‘two finger squirter’, also known as a girl that accidentally pees all over you during sex. I don’t know about you, but in my childhood, we were so poor that we were lucky to have any toys to play with. Our idea of a good time was ordering free Bibles from TV, and then burning them on the front stoop. I know that may seem sacrilegious, but at l... More...


By • Mar 17th, 2015 • Category: Parenting, Toys


How to Facetime a Vagina

TweetThe ‘sex selfie stick’ allows you to FaceTime a vagina. The inside. Seriously. Have you ever wanted to have a [...]

The ‘sex selfie stick’ allows you to FaceTime a vagina. The inside. Seriously. Have you ever wanted to have a discussion with someone’s genitals? I know I have. There is a list of very specific questions I would like to ask a vagina, such as: “How many dicks have been inside here”, “How many balloons of heroin would fit up here,” and the most important, “Are you afraid of babi... More...


By • Mar 3rd, 2015 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Toys



NSFW: The Vajankle

TweetIntroducing a vagina/ankle sex toy, for all your masturbation needs. Just when Russia starts to fight against foot fetishists, the [...]

Introducing a vagina/ankle sex toy, for all your masturbation needs. Just when Russia starts to fight against foot fetishists, the rest of the world decides to embrace them. The vajankle is exactly what it sounds like- a rubber sex toy shaped like a foot, that includes a silicon vagina for his pleasure. I don’t even have enough WTFs in my lexicon of abbreviations to describe how I feel about this... More...


By • Jan 20th, 2015 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Toys


It’s a Thing: The Lego Strip Club

TweetThe unofficial Lego strip club is now available for purchase. Regardless of how you feel about actual strippers, you must [...]

The unofficial Lego strip club is now available for purchase. Regardless of how you feel about actual strippers, you must admit it’s hard not to love tiny little Lego strippers, sliding up and down a plastic pole just trying to make a few bucks to feed their Lego heroin habit or pay their way through Lego beauty school. I only say the word Lego so many times because I think its awesome that whil... More...


By • Dec 1st, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Toys


Five Penis Pumpkins

TweetPenis pumpkins are the perfect way to be inappropriate on Halloween. I actually won our pumpkin carving contest last year [...]

Penis pumpkins are the perfect way to be inappropriate on Halloween. I actually won our pumpkin carving contest last year with this veiny masterpiece. Follow me on Instagram @Gadrianrandall if you want to see what kind of dick I carve this year (hint: it will be black). Pumpkin carving is an age old tradition leading back to the days when people actually had to use candles for light, instead of j... More...


By • Oct 28th, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Toys


Men Who Like to Live as Rubber Dolls

TweetAdam Ramos makes his living creating female rubber doll suits for cross-dressing men. Yet again, the Internet has made me [...]

Adam Ramos makes his living creating female rubber doll suits for cross-dressing men. Yet again, the Internet has made me proud to be from Florida. For those of you who aren’t grown-ass men with rubber tits, “rubber dolling” is the process by which men don rubber body suits to make them look like a female (a female made of plastic that is, so basically Renee Zellweger). Adam Ramos and his moth... More...


By • Oct 21st, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Toys


The Super Creepy Hugging Chair

TweetIf you are feeling lonely, buy a creepy hugging chair from Japan. I’m not really much of a hugger. In [...]

If you are feeling lonely, buy a creepy hugging chair from Japan. I’m not really much of a hugger. In fact, my friends have told me that my hugs resemble the cold touch of one of Death’s skeleton fingers, clasping onto their shoulders on a cold autumn night. I am also a one-hugger, putting as much effort into my hugs as I do early morning hand jobs. I keep it this way, because I don’t actually unde... More...


By • Oct 12th, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Toys


Woman Makes Life-Like Dolls With Her Children’s Hair

TweetMarilyn Mansfield has over 300 dolls, including one that was made with her son’s hair. In fucking creepy news, New [...]

Marilyn Mansfield has over 300 dolls, including one that was made with her son’s hair. In fucking creepy news, New York-based doll-maker Marilyn Mansfield is so obsessed with dolls that she treats them like actual babies, walks them around in strollers, and has used her son’s hair to make one of them feel more like family. It should be mentioned that that doll’s name is Davina Star, her husb... More...


By • Sep 9th, 2014 • Category: FAMILY, Toys


Make-out Pillows for Your Preteen Nephew

TweetMy first kiss was with a neighborhood girl named Becky. We were playing spin the bottle, and it happened pretty [...]

My first kiss was with a neighborhood girl named Becky. We were playing spin the bottle, and it happened pretty randomly. I then tried to get her to play it every time she came over, and even made up new rules to the game to take things a little further. Needless to say she was not interested. In retrospect, she looked like a lemur after an uncut Colombian 8-ball anyway. If these make out pillows had ... More...


By • Feb 18th, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Toys


WTF: 10 Creepy But Cute Fantasy Creature Dolls

TweetWe’ve been talking a lot about toys around here lately, but unlike the other varieties these toys don’t vibrate, and [...]

We’ve been talking a lot about toys around here lately, but unlike the other varieties these toys don’t vibrate, and probably won’t make your man feel emasculated. Made by  23-year-old Russian artist Santani, the fantasy creature dolls are created to look as cute and otherworldly as possible, and possibly remind you of the gremlin-infested nightmares of your youth. Seriously, I wa... More...


By • Jan 22nd, 2014 • Category: Art, Toys