robot blowjobs

The Robotic Blowjob is Now a Thing

TweetThe Autoblow 2 aims to replace traditional blowjobs with a robot. I think that the world can agree that blowjobs are one thing you can never have enough of. Everyone, even the old President of the United States has engaged in some blowie action here and there, so it was really only a matter of time before technology found a way to replicate it. The Autoblow 2 is an electronic robot that mimic... »

gun laws and dildos

Gun Laws and Sex Toys: Texas Students Protest

TweetIn opposition to a concealed gun law passed in Texas, students are carrying around dildos. Gun control is totally a hot topic nowadays, especially given the string of horrific school shootings, and the presidential election coming up. A few months ago, the University of Texas passed legislation that allows students to carry concealed guns on campus. Meanwhile, students aren’t allowed to engag... »

werewolf muzzle

How to Turn Your Dog Into a Werewolf

TweetThis muzzle turns your friendly dog into a fierce werewolf. I used to have a dog. She was about a foot long from head to tail, and went with me everywhere. I used to put her in my backpack with her head sticking out for long subway rides, even though at the mere scent of another dog she turned into a ferocious zombie Doberman from Resident Evil. Even though she had balls bigger than mine, her... »

alien sex toys

Alien Eggs in Your Vagina?

TweetThe newest trend in sex toys is laying alien eggs in your vagina. I have watched a lot of porn in my day, including a few videos from a certain area of the world we will call Japan, that involve cartoon aliens having sex with cartoon women, and laying eggs in their cartoon baby-makers. While I can’t say that I find this sort of thing sexually stimulating, I don’t judge other people on their f... »

reuse sex toys

How to Re-use Old Sex Toys

TweetFive clever ways to reuse your sex toys. I have never been much of a sex toy person, mostly because the only things I like to stick into any of my holes typically have a heartbeat, a pulse, and a penis. I will not say I’ve never done it though, and I won’t say I will never do it again. Just the other day, my good friend showed me his wide array of butt-plugs, for use when he and his boyfriend... »

public erection bloxers

Hide Your Public Erection with Bloxers

TweetThis new boxer concepts aims to hide any embarrassing public erection drama. I don’t know if it’s a symptom of my age, or just my incredible self control, but I don’t really get erections in public. On the rare occasion that I do, I am either having, or about to have public sex, so it’s really a non-issue. Still, I know a lot of guys do suffer from embarrassing public erections, and a company... »

mixed bag balloons

Mixed Bag Balloons For People You Hate

TweetMixed bag balloons help us tell loved ones how horrible they are. Balloons are traditionally sent to celebrate all kinds of occasions, from childbirths, to anniversaries, to birthdays and even root canals. They are a symbol of celebration for all the people we love. I have always wondered though; what about the assholes? We all have a friend or two in our lives that deserves the wrath of God ... »

weird gifts

Five Random Gifts for Weird Moms

TweetGift ideas for weird moms. Face candles As everyone who ever popped out of a vagina knows, Mother’s Day is steadily approaching. I know a lot of us come from good, loving, cookie cutter homes where all a mother wants is the love of her children and a nice tube of lipstick for this hallowed day, but this post isn’t about those moms. This post is for all the weird moms out there. I am talking a... »

inappropriate toys

WTF: Inappropriate Childrens Toys

TweetSome toys are not actually meant for children. A ‘two finger squirter’, also known as a girl that accidentally pees all over you during sex. I don’t know about you, but in my childhood, we were so poor that we were lucky to have any toys to play with. Our idea of a good time was ordering free Bibles from TV, and then burning them on the front stoop. I know that may seem sacrilegious, but at l... »

sex selfie stick

How to Facetime a Vagina

TweetThe ‘sex selfie stick’ allows you to FaceTime a vagina. The inside. Seriously. Have you ever wanted to have a discussion with someone’s genitals? I know I have. There is a list of very specific questions I would like to ask a vagina, such as: “How many dicks have been inside here”, “How many balloons of heroin would fit up here,” and the most important, “Are you afraid of babies?” Thank... »

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