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Archives for the ‘SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS’ Category

The Most Awkward Relationship Photography of All Time

TweetDear Sears, Eat a dick. Love, Gary. I have a love-hate relationship with department store-style photography because on one hand, [...]

Dear Sears, Eat a dick. Love, Gary. I have a love-hate relationship with department store-style photography because on one hand, there is basically nothing (besides glamour shots) that can create a more trashy memory (see Exhibit: A) Exhibit: A On the other hand, department store photography has given us some of the most entertaining photos ever to grace The Internet. All I know is, if you want to c... More...


By • Feb 16th, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, SHINFO


The Real Uncensored Story of St. Valentine

TweetEveryone always says that Valentine’s Day was made up by the candy companies to push their chocolate agenda. Other people [...]

Everyone always says that Valentine’s Day was made up by the candy companies to push their chocolate agenda. Other people say that Hallmark made it up, in a bid to sell cards that would eventually become as obsolete as Kelly Pickler’s career. The truth however, is that Valentine’s Day is named for a patron saint, aptly named St. Valentine, and the origins of the holiday are a little more sket... More...


By • Feb 14th, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS



How to Be a Single Girl on Valentine’s Day

TweetValentine’s Day is really only a thing because tradition says it is. I read that in Roman times, Valentine’s Day [...]

Valentine’s Day is really only a thing because tradition says it is. I read that in Roman times, Valentine’s Day was part of a festival called Lupercalia, where grown-ass men would get buck-naked and beat women with animal hides. I am not sure exactly how this event was bastardized into a day where couples fail to live up to each other’s expectations and single people eat their own weight in c... More...


By • Feb 14th, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS


How to Ask For Sex in Different Languages

TweetOne of the most important parts of taking a vacation is getting laid. There is nothing better than escaping to [...]

One of the most important parts of taking a vacation is getting laid. There is nothing better than escaping to a foreign destination and slipping into a strange foreign man that doesn’t speak your language. That being said, even though “fuck-me-eyes” are a pretty universal language, it is very helpful to know how to ask for a good plowing. To celebrate that, here are a few ways to ask for sex ... More...


By • Feb 9th, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life


Match Made in Heaven: Woman With Two Vaginas Marries Man With Two Penises

TweetIn honor of Valentine’s Day coming up, I thought I would spend some time focusing on the great romances of [...]

In honor of Valentine’s Day coming up, I thought I would spend some time focusing on the great romances of our time. I’m sorry if that headline came off as breaking news, but I really couldn’t think of any other way to say it. Blanche Dumas (ironically, my drag name) was born in the 1800s. She had three legs, four tits, and two vaginas, and made a living as a high class hooker (nicknamed the ... More...


By • Feb 4th, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life


The Perfect Valentine’s Gift: A Coat and Hat Weaved From Your Own Hair

TweetDo you want to show your boyfriend or husband exactly how much you care about him? Every time he leaves [...]

Do you want to show your boyfriend or husband exactly how much you care about him? Every time he leaves the house, do you feel like he takes a piece of you with him? Do you give less than a shit about what other people think of you? If so, on Valentine’s Day, you might consider knitting him some outwear made out of your own hair. Xiang Renxian, a 60-year-old retired schoolteacher from China had ... More...


By • Feb 4th, 2014 • Category: Hair, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS


Dick Pic Etiquette: The Ins and Outs of Taking and Sending Penis Photography

TweetEveryone (even gay guys) like a good tit pic, but dick pics are an entirely different story. Tit pics can [...]

Everyone (even gay guys) like a good tit pic, but dick pics are an entirely different story. Tit pics can be appreciated for their aesthetic quality, lighting, and overall beauty. Dick pics serve only three purposes: to try and entice someone into slapping a beej onto said dick, for girls to share with friends and incite pride at the elasticity of their vaginas, and to make fun of. Even as a gay ... More...


By • Feb 2nd, 2014 • Category: Advice, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life


Tinderella: A Modern Social Networking Fairy Tale

TweetThe majority of us were raised on Disney movies with predictable plots, where the girl goes through trials and tribulations [...]

The majority of us were raised on Disney movies with predictable plots, where the girl goes through trials and tribulations to meet the guy, then somehow lands him and lives happily ever after (even though chances are the princes were actually drunks, with mommy issues and a tendency to ejaculate prematurely). Even though times have changed, one could argue that romance really hasn’t. Yes, its ... More...


By • Jan 31st, 2014 • Category: Dating, Internet, Sex Life


Three Examples of Real Life Monsters-In-Law

TweetIf you ask me this in public I will never admit it, but I actually like the movie Monster-In-Law despite [...]

If you ask me this in public I will never admit it, but I actually like the movie Monster-In-Law despite the fact that it involves Jennifer Lopez in an acting role. The idea of a monster-in-law began way before Jenny left the block however, and has deep-seated roots in history. Most of the married women I know can’t stand their mother-in-laws, and vice versa. The reason for this, is that mothers neve... More...


By • Jan 28th, 2014 • Category: Advice, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS


Is Your Love Life Hopeless? Try Dating a Ghost

TweetIf you are the type of person who has ghostesses haunting your 5th floor walkup, then pay attention, because chances [...]

If you are the type of person who has ghostesses haunting your 5th floor walkup, then pay attention, because chances are those ghosts are so ornery because they haven’t gotten laid since they died. Ghostsingles.com is an actual website dedicated to bringing people together postmortem. READ MORE: Worst Eyebrow on the Internet Do you have a dead old aunt that was a lovely person but preferred the ... More...


By • Jan 28th, 2014 • Category: Dating, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS