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Archives for the ‘SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS’ Category

Analingus: A Straight Person’s Guide to Eating Ass

TweetAsshole: Its what’s for dinner. In case you were wondering, booty-eating is not just for gay guys anymore. In recent [...]

Asshole: Its what’s for dinner. In case you were wondering, booty-eating is not just for gay guys anymore. In recent times we have seen heterosexuals jumping on the anal bandwagon, with more and more straight guys knocking on the backdoor, eager to be let in. The butthole seems to be having a renaissance, where it is no longer taboo to stick a finger, a dick, or even a tongue in the holiest of p... More...


By • Sep 21st, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life


Male Birth Control is Finally Almost Here

TweetMale birth control will soon become a reality. Future baby daddies everywhere can rejoice, for there will soon be a [...]

Male birth control will soon become a reality. Future baby daddies everywhere can rejoice, for there will soon be a non-surgical form of male birth control, available to pro basketball players and the general public as soon as next year. For years, girls have been worried about whether or not they took the pill, and guys have been using it as an excuse to bareback with drunk sorority whores. No more... More...


By • Sep 16th, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life



Understanding the Penis: Morning Wood, Demystified

TweetThe scientific reason men get erections in the morning. If you have ever woken up to the feeling of your [...]

The scientific reason men get erections in the morning. If you have ever woken up to the feeling of your boyfriend’s huge boner poking you upon the precipice of your rectum, you probably thought one of two things: 1) Party time, or 2) What exactly is the story behind morning glory? For those of you who chose the first response, I applaud you. For those who chose the second, there is actually a sc... More...


By • Sep 14th, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life


Looking for a Girlfriend in NYC

TweetDan Perino is looking for a girlfriend in NYC. I see (and do) a lot of weird things on a [...]

Dan Perino is looking for a girlfriend in NYC. I see (and do) a lot of weird things on a daily basis, but when I happened upon Don Perino’s taped up girlfriend-seeking flyer on the street in NYC… well, I looked. Dan Perino’s flyer: I’m really looking for a girlfriend. This is not a joke. Just tired of the singles scene and hoping to meet the right person. I am a professional arti... More...


By • Sep 11th, 2014 • Category: Dating, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS


Woman Makes Life-Like Dolls With Her Children’s Hair

TweetMarilyn Mansfield has over 300 dolls, including one that was made with her son’s hair. In fucking creepy news, New [...]

Marilyn Mansfield has over 300 dolls, including one that was made with her son’s hair. In fucking creepy news, New York-based doll-maker Marilyn Mansfield is so obsessed with dolls that she treats them like actual babies, walks them around in strollers, and has used her son’s hair to make one of them feel more like family. It should be mentioned that that doll’s name is Davina Star, her husb... More...


By • Sep 9th, 2014 • Category: FAMILY, Toys


In Real Life Disney Princes Would Actually be A-Holes

TweetIf the Disney princes actually existed, they would be horrible people. I think its high time we all admitted that [...]

If the Disney princes actually existed, they would be horrible people. I think its high time we all admitted that the cartoons we watched in our childhood were actually full of assholes, and no, I’m not talking about all the hidden body parts placed randomly in The Little Mermaid. Not to name names, but Popeye protected Olive Oyl from a rapist, Wile E. Coyote spent his life trying to murder the ... More...


By • Sep 9th, 2014 • Category: ENTERTAINMENT, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS


Flight Attendant Sentenced to Jail For Giving a Sleeping Straight Man a Blowjob

TweetIain Fisher, a flight attended for Ryanair has been sentenced to a year in jail for giving fellatio to a [...]

Iain Fisher, a flight attended for Ryanair has been sentenced to a year in jail for giving fellatio to a sleeping straight man. If I had a nickel for every time I gave a blowjob to a sleeping straight man I would have no nickels, because every straight man that has slept in the same bed as me has been unable to contain himself. Iain Fisher, a 23-year-old flight attendant has to spend a year in jail... More...


By • Sep 7th, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, Sex Life


How to Up Your Blowjob Game With Lip Art

TweetPerforming oral sex with painted lips is the newest trend in blowjobs. I don’t know what the future of makeup [...]

Performing oral sex with painted lips is the newest trend in blowjobs. I don’t know what the future of makeup holds, but I certainly hope it involves lip art. In case you aren’t aware, lip art is when artistic people use body paint and makeup to transform their mouth into a work of art. It’s great for Instagram, and even better for blowjobs.  Imagine your boyfriend’s excitement when he g... More...


By • Sep 3rd, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS


Sponsored Weddings: Tacky or Trendy?

TweetSponsored weddings are an easy way for broke people to throw expensive weddings. You know how Nascar drivers wear racing [...]

Sponsored weddings are an easy way for broke people to throw expensive weddings. You know how Nascar drivers wear racing suits covered in the corporate logos of the companies who pay for middle Americans to get fat and watch high speed car crashes? Imagine if that was your wedding dress. Sponsored weddings happen when enterprising couples with decent social media followings decide to publicize and ... More...


By • Sep 2nd, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, WEDDING


Russian Authorities Forced to Allow Same Sex Wedding

TweetScandalized Russian bureaucrats were forced to allow two women to marry. Russian authorities were really pissed off, but trapped by [...]

Scandalized Russian bureaucrats were forced to allow two women to marry. Russian authorities were really pissed off, but trapped by their own discriminatory laws when they were forced to allow the same sex-marriage of Alina Davis and Allison Brooks. The loophole the two women used is that Alina Davis is a 23-year-old trans woman, so technically Russia still classifies her as male. They walked into... More...


By • Aug 31st, 2014 • Category: SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS, WEDDING