Bryce Gruber’s Thoughts of the Day (relationship saboteur edition)

I only have two thoughts so far today… maybe the piles of snow are limiting me, who knows.

1) I’m a Relationship Saboteur. I’m officially awful at relationships. For the first time in forever (actually, ever) I’ve been dating a man that gives me no grief whatsoever. He’s nice, thoughtful, handsome, and a good dad. Last night we somehow ended up winding our way through a conversation about past relationships which led to the inevitable discussion of what we want out of the future. He wants marriage and more kids (or kid) in the not incredibly distant future. Instead of me recognizing that as a good thing, I just confessed that the idea of more responsibilities scares the hell out of me.  The truth is, I’d like more kids yesterday, but I need to feel secure enough in the idea of love before getting to the kid stuff (because I know all too well that not every relationship works out forever). Then I realized that he probably just took a step back from me in general. What’s the right way to do things? Do you work on yourself enough to get to the point of being able to say “yes, I can be a good wife and the perfect mother to several of your babies plus mine,” or do you just leap blindly into life with the hope of it all panning out and that some bigger sense of destiny is on your side? #idefinitelyfuckedthisoneup

2) This Song is Good. Enjoy the old country jamz! Greek men are good news.

Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber

  • Samantha

    You were honest and he has to be man enough to accept that (or how is he going to have more kids). You were burned and sound like you want a guarantee – you are NOT getting one. Look before you leap. Then leap if you can see you and him old walking hand and hand and canes through the park.

    Unless one of you is dead you have are not “idefinitelyfuckedthisoneup”

  • KatjaAnderson

    Now, Bryce, all may not be lost. Just the fact that he mentioned marriage and children (or a child) is VERY encouraging! But you were honest. Perhaps a little too honest (which does not mean you destroyed this relationship). As an American-born girl brought up in Europe, I’ve learned that while American honesty is praiseworthy, it doesn’t always work with men. That does NOT mean you should be dishonest; certainly not. But what may help in the future would be to emulate French women by saying less, listening more (believe me, I have learned this the hard way!). Meaning when important issues come up, say as little as possible, then give yourself time to mull it over. Still need to say something? Then gently reopen the topic, but only after you’ve really thought it over. BTW, if the relationship does not go in the direction you had hoped, then perhaps it wasn’t meant to be, but this is WORST CASE SCENARIO! Meanwhile, please don’t fret; you seem such a nice person.

  • Samantha

    Is that how French women don’t get fat? They never open their mouths? 😉

  • Well, you don’t need a roofer to fix a leak before ya get a nice place to stay but security in love is a nice place to start before baby-making, unless your biological clock alarm is about to go off and extra kids are a must, and men have been known to knock up women in this category. By the way, psychicseloma [on twitter] predicted that you’d be around extra water- maybe you should’ve had her as a consultant before you had the leak, for a heads up, ya know?