Bryce Gruber’s Thoughts of the Day (legs out edition)

I am attracted to myths. -Tina Turner


1. Fighting Pubic Frizz? When I got into the office this morning I was delighted by rays of sunshine pouring through our glass-paned French doors, and an even warmer greeting from Ashley. “Bryce! Did you know that Steph uses lube in her hair to tame fly-aways? And it smells like peach!”

I gleefully responded, “Really? Is it that peachy-flavored lube that we got as a press sample from Carly? Because I have that, too, and I’m not into artificial peach flavor… good to know I can tame my Jew-fro with it!”

So, penny pinchers of the world, if you lose your boyfriend at any point you don’t have to worry about what to do with all that extra lube you’ve got hanging around. Use it for gorgeous hair to trap a new man by summer’s end.

2. My Legs Are Bare! It’s like 79 degrees here in NYC today. That means one thing: I am wearing a little dress. Wearing a little dress in the city comes with its risks, of course. The first is the risk of that Norma Jean Baker moment on the subway platform where your dress goes flying above your head and everyone can see exactly what style of underwear you chose that morning. The second is the chance that someone will rub up against your legs and discover that it’s either been several hours (maybe even a couple days) since you last shaved, or that even when you shave there’s some resilient stubble that remains just to make you feel sort of self-conscious the rest of the day. Lame. Ultra lame. That was me last summer. I’m lasering my way to mental freedom, however, and pretty thankful that I haven’t had to shave my legs in like a week or so (at least)… and I’m only on my 3rd laser session at Completely Bare. Now I just have to worry about choosing chic underwear in the event that my dress goes flying above my head.

3. Speaking of Lube & Hairlessness… Enjoy this throwback jam by Lil Kim. I’m pretty sure she knows all there is to know about lube and hairlessness.

Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber