Today, my theme is weddings. I don’t know why – it may be because I recently met a guy I kind of like. It also may be that I have been stuffing my face for a few weeks and now feel the need to drop down to my birth weight, much like a bride does when she realizes her wedding dress is a size two and she is as big as one of Simon Cowell’s hairy he-tits.
I truly believe that weddings should be laid back, but I also believe if there is ever a day when you should feel beautiful and special it is the day you agree to share the rest of your life with someone. Not to mention, the more distracted people are by the gorgeous ink designs you have painted on, the less they will be concerned with your man-shoulders and three chins. Have a great wedding!
