These tips and tricks will help you deal with the ins and outs of a one-night stand.
We have all had one-night stands. As a gay man, I have had one-night stands, one-hour stands, and unfortunately, one-minute stands. The number one problem with the one-night-stands isn’t the burning judgment of the people on Broadway judging you for wearing sequins and heels at 9 AM, its getting rid of whoever you slept with the night before. So if you have ever woken up next to a stranger and wondered how to deal with the situation, read on.
Go to Starbucks together: This works really well because everyone needs their morning caffeine, if you forgot their name a barista will literally call it out to you, and you can conveniently ditch them there after you have had one drink.
Ghost: This is the easiest thing to do, but the trick is to do it before they wake up, and it only works if you stayed at their place. If you have their number, its only polite to send a text saying ‘I had a great time, but last night I realized my drinking is a real problem, so I am headed to rehab in Bogota, Colombia. Thanks for the dicking!’ If you don’t have their number, lucky you.
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Pretend you have somewhere to be: This is a tried and true method, because nobody can blame you for oversleeping, freaking out about how you are supposed to meet your parents, and then running out of the apartment with your panties on backwards. It takes some actress skills, but the more interesting your lie is, the better your story will be when you immediately meet your girlfriends for brunch.
Fake a hang over: Nobody (except fashion designers) wants to watch a girl throw up all day, so chances are If you run to the bathroom and make violent retching noises, he will let himself out. If he tries to take care of you, pretend to be an offended feminist.
Tell the truth: I know this is probably unlikely because nobody wants to be a bad guy, but there is a slight chance he will respect you if you tell him all you wanted was a sweet piece of ass. Just remember to thank him, because even sluts need to maintain good manners.
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