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5 Major Fashion Crimes

Written by Bryce

It’s a new decade, and I’d like to think that all the major fashion offenses of the last decade will be behind us all.  Obviously there are a few people in the middle of the country that really haven’t gotten the “stop dressing like a moron” memo.

horrendous woman

1. Tight Clothes. There’s nothing wrong with a fitted dress, leggings, or some skinny jeans.  There is, however, a major problem with ill-fitting t-shirts that make your whole body into a walking muffin top situation.  If you’re out of shape, please consider something with a more flattering empire waist or just more fabric.  Thanks.

2.  Two-Tone Pleather Shoes. Please stop this, it’s not appropriate on any level.  And we sure as hell don’t want to smell your stinky feet after they’ve spent a day shopping for twinkies in pleather shoes.

3. Hot Pants with Leg Warmers.  I have no issue with hot pants, and no issue with legwarmers, but the combination makes you look like a dirty skank.  In the case of this woman, she’s not hot enough to be a stripper, so they for sure don’t work in combo.

4.  Ill-Fitting Bras. Please, just get one that fits.  If you’re bra is too small it’s as good as saying “Have you seen my back fat? Cute, right?”

5. Tiny Coach Bags circa 2002. Please, it’s been nearly 10 years.  Enough’s enough.

About the author

Bryce

Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber

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