You’re Probably a Bigger Slut Than You Think
Truly. Even if you’ve hardly slept with anyone (sadly, in my case), you need to consider all the people that your partner(s) have slept with. OMFG. All my hard-earned sexless time in pursuit of being a non-slut was basically wasted. The minute I touched my ex, I think I indirectly slept with a healthy portion of the free world. I think I’ll keep my chastity belt on, though, because as discouraging as this realization is, I certainly don’t want to earn the title of “direct slut” now. That title comes with herpes, the clap, and potentially more children (from varied fathers).
But you’re probably wondering “how can I map out how big of a slut I am?” and with good reason. No worries, I’ve got it all mapped out for you. And don’t feel bad, I’ve slept with over 2,000,000 people indirectly thanks to my son’s father. The good news is that I sprayed him down with Lysol before ever eating a meal with him.
The 6 Degrees of Sexual Separation site calculates based on perceived slutiness & age of your partner(s). Essentially, the older your parter(s) is, the greater the likelihood of them being a ginormous slut because they’ve had decades to rub their balls all over everyone they can.
Sleeping with this dude might net me 14,000,000 indirect sexual partners.
I think one of my favorite features of this nifty little website is that you can share the info with your facebook friends and twitter followers! Oh, hooray!
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Bryce is Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce’s aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber
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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Bryce Gruber and TheLuxurySpot. TheLuxurySpot said: Take the dirty slut test! http://bit.ly/mhs62 [...]
your gays may not get a name, let alone the age, of the people they sleep with. I suggest doing a PSA to your gays and have them multiply by 2. Also, does this count oral sex partners? If so, then 50 won’t be enough for any gay over the age of 20 (and I’m guessing for some of the ladies too).