Ever envy your guy friends for their genital protecting cups? Me either. For one, the closest I’ve come to participating in a sport is climbing a fence while intoxicated in heels. Secondly, my parts have never been in immediate danger of being kicked, elbowed, or pelted with a moving object. So pardon me for not understanding what I would possibly need a Va J-J Visor for.

That’s right, a Va J-J Visor (Other names that were floated around: ‘The Clam Shell’, ’The Beaver Dam’, ‘The Bonnie Bonnet’, and my personal favorite, ’The Hoo Ha Hoodie’). Designed to protect your snatch from evil tanning bed UV rays, razors, waxes, and trying on bikini bottoms. I’m sorry, but the thought that– a. a vag would need to fend off hot wax and razors and UV rays and b. that someone designed protective gear for said vag–makes me contemplate the myriad of ways that time spent preening could be used for something… I don’t know, productive? I’m all for keeping my favorite organ clean, happy, and in working order; but wow. Do we not spend enough time and money making sure our business is all jazzy, that we now need to purchase protective apparel for it? Are vaginas the new chihuahuas?

I will admit that unfortunately, going to a tanning salon or getting yourself waxed can present certain health risks if the place is totally unsanitary. But when it comes to your vagina, shouldn’t you be discrimnate about where you put it and what touches it? It’s simple enough to ask to be present during the sterilization process that should be taking place, if you’re that concerned. This is, after all, how most of us lived before the all-important Va J-J Visor, is it not?

Other uses for the visor include dyeing your pubes, as well as getting your naughty bits pierced or tatted (for added privacy, of course!). I don’t want to speculate, but I’m gunna bet that anyone piercing or tattooing their vagina is none too concerned with privacy. Not to generalize, but come on.

If you’re truly concerned about protecting yourself from everything except for unwanted pregnancy and STIs, purchase a Va J-J Visor here. I’ll continue to play Mother Hen and make sure my girl is safe and sound the old fashioned way.

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