12 Reasons Why Indian Penis is the Best

If you have never tried an Indian penis, now is a good a time as any.

You may not know this about me (since most people assume I am Hispanic, or white with a really good tan), but I am 25% Indian. And by Indian, I mean that my bloodline derives from India, not that my ancestors inspired the movie Dancing with Wolves. I can’t rightly say that being part Indian has given me any huge advantages in life (aside from interesting dinner conversation and minority scholarships in college), but I will say that I like my brown, Indian penis (on that note, you’ll probably also like my article on loving Italian penis, too).

Indian penis galore, #amirite?

Indian penises are perhaps some of the most under-rated penises in the historical spectrum of dicks. While there is a stigma about Indian penis being smaller than average, that is definitely not always the case, and I would definitely say that the pros of Indian penis vastly outweigh the cons.

So if you are a lover of Indian men, or have been thinking of dipping your toes into an ocean of Indian dick, here are 12 reasons why Indian penis is the best.

In India there is a huge stigma about circumcision, so if you are the type of girl that likes an uncut guy (and yes, I am that type of girl), Indian dick may be right up your alley. Literally. Sign me up for that arranged gay marriage.
People in India are sometimes born with multiple limbs, and worshipped as gods. This bodes well, if you have ever wanted to sleep with a multi-penised demigod.
Have you ever seen pics of the Diwali festival on Pinterest? India is a culture full of gorgeous celebrations. Latching yourself to an Indian dick could get you invited to a lot of cutesy cultural events to make your friends on Instagram jealous.
Even though many Indians believe in arranged marriages, this is changing in recent years. But the good news is, if you decide to wife up an Indian dick, his family has a decent chance of disowning him. This is great if you don’t want to deal with pesky in-laws.
79.8% of Indians believe in Hinduism. Hindus believe in reincarnation, therefore, sleeping with an Indian dick is likely to bring you lots of great Karma.
India is totes overpopulated, which means that there is a lot of competition regarding Indian dicks. Therefore, an Indian dick is likely to be a lot more appreciative of your vagina. Fact.
The divorce rate in India is only 1%, so if you find an Indian dick you like, chances are he will be in it for the long haul.
Indian men are very involved with their family and extended family. This means that shacking up with an Indian dick comes along with an entire family, which is great for all sorts of reasons.
Indian penises rank at 112 in the world, based on size, in a survey of 116 countries. This is excellent news if you have a tiny vagina. If you do, indeed, have a tiny vagina, mazal tov.
The average size of an Indian penis is 4.031 inches. Also, excellent news for tiny vaginas, because it means the range of sizes is more manageable. This is also great news for gay bottoms with low pain thresholds.
82% of Indian men identify as heteros (ugh, I know, right?). But the upside is that the chances of accidentally sleeping with a gay Indian penis are relatively small.
In India, they sell dried lizard penises as good luck charms. If Indian lizards have lucky penises, just imagine how lucky a human one would be!